Sunday, September 25, 2005

The Problem With Pumpkins

So, Amy and I are planning on having a pumpkin carving party in a couple of weeks. When it comes down to who to invite, we are at a loss.

The problem is, that most of our friends, the people we used to invite over, are no longer here. Some have graduated and moved on, others are doing like we did last year, and spending this year in France. Amy is at the point in her academic life, that she does not spend a lot of time on campus, and thus does not know a lot of the new people.

This has led me to contemplate inviting a few folks from work. Now my co-supervisors (or at least the ones I like) are no problem. I can invite them with no strings attached. The issues come when I think of inviting some of the reps.

The first problem is that I, in no way, want all of the reps to come to my house. I don't have the room, for one thing. But mainly, I just don't particularly care for some of them, and have no desire to spend any of my non work time with them. But can I invite some of them without inviting the whole lot?

I could do it fairly secretively; therefore those who aren't invited won't even know the party is happening. They can't be offended by a non invite, if they don't know they weren't invited. This is slightly risky considering our office layout is cubicles which puts everyone in very close quarters.

The other issue is inviting any reps at all. I have a good work relationship with most of my reps. We get along well, I can joke and chat with all of them, without relinquishing any of my authority as a supervisor. But, if suddenly we are in a more social setting this could change. Will I lose my authority if they see me with a handful of pumpkin while carving out Spiderman? Will they think less of me because my mix tape includes Neil Diamond and Dolly Parton?

You see one of our supervisors parties with some of the reps. He even dated one of them. This causes him all kinds of problems. The ex-date is constantly complaining that he mistreats her and has to have sit downs with the big boss. A lot of the reps get unruly when he is the only supervisor on duty, because they feel he is a friend and not a supervisor.

I don't want any of this, of course, but I'm not sure a simply pumpkin party will cause any of it. Some of the reps are really nice people, and have personalities that I know would gel with mine outside of the office. It would also be nice to have a few friends in which Amy and I could hang out with.

So, should I try to invite a few reps, or just ditch the whole idea and only include my supervisors?

11 comments:

bigsip said...

I say ONLY supervisors. If you can't invite everyone, don't invite anyone. You're in a position of authority and even if you don't mean to play favorites, some of the other Reps WILL find out they weren't invited later and will accuse you of favoritism. You'll lose respect. It's more of a headache than you want in the long run. That's my take.

bigsip said...

Just a side note. I see an ending/beginning of things in this post. Friends leaving, school winding down, the grind setting-in. I know it's not the purpose of this post to reveal a paradigm shift in the life of Mat and Amy Brewster, but I can see it happening, my friend. Don't let it get you down, though. You're just starting a new adventure. I have been enjoying reading about it and imagining where it will lead. You have revealed to me my own unrecognized life change. Sometimes finishing school, having kids, working, living, etc. tend to sneak up on you without you realizing it. I think you're more aware of the changes than I was. I find it exciting!

Jamison said...

I make it a point not to have a social life with anyone I work with, unless i had a social life with them before i worked there. I like there to be a nice line between personal life and work life. If you are asking what I would do, I would grill 3 or 4 burgers, and sit in the driveway with my wife carving one, maybe two pumpkins. That is assuming I had no one to invite.

If you invite work folks, also, keep in mind, most of them probably drink. If you made a "no alcohol" rule, half the ones you dont want to invite wont come anyway. Add the no smoking and no vulgarity rule and none of them will come.

Rachel said...

A couple of cool pumpkin party links...

http://www.pumpkinmasters.com/party_planning.asp

http://www.worth1000.com/tutorial.asp?sid=160999

Jamison said...

ive never heard of a pumpkin party... i must be out of the loop

mullinz8 said...

Jamison, a “Pumpkin Party” is code for a smoking and drinking party…

Jamison said...

i thought that "She makes all her own clothes" was code for someone who has an drinking problem...

Brewster said...

Alright, I've decided only Supers. I felt bad because I had to uninvite one of the reps. She was present when I was having the whole discussion with a couple of supervisors while at lunch.

She took it well though.

Brewster said...

Ai, Sipper, things are changing around the Brewster abode.

France, of course, was a big change. But coming back seems almost bigger.

Many things are the same. We're in the same town, working the same jobs, but its different in a way. There are people who have been at the workplace for a year,who I don't know. Lots of structural changes as well.

We've also lost a lot of friends, so we're trying to make new contacts.

Internally I feel a change as well.Time off did me a lot of good. I'm tackling my work situations differently. I'm trying to be more people oriented than just trying to get all my "work" done.

Spiritually I feel like I'm moving towards a better Brew, too.

Jamison said...

a better brew! a better buzz! from your friends at Miller...

bigsip said...

I love my Brew...Now, we'll have more Brew for the lovin'!