Friends, Fun, and Fusic (Music just didn't fit)

These pics were from a mini-reunion months ago.

Chuck just now got them to me, Sip, I will give you your copies in the days that follow.

I don't know why I feel that I must turn myself into an idiot when a camera is pointed at me. (Brew, insert witty comment here)

Speaking of photos, it is likely that J.A.S. (aka Josh) will be put into the new yearbook that is being published by the school I work for.

Why you ask? Simple. The yearbook staff came up with a cute idea:

"What faculty members do for fun/in their spare time."

So I submitted a picture of us jamming with the old guys in the bluegrass group.

Sip, your moment has arrived! What moment that may be, I do not know.

Funny thing happened today that really buoyed my spirits (bowing as everyone applaudes me for using a cool word correctly)

There is crazy little radio show on 1170am here in town. It is a talk show that never touches the political rehlm. Basically, this talk station needed to fill a 2 hour slot, so they took a DJ from the FM side to do a "show about nothing" for 2 hours.
Anyway, sometimes I feel sorry for the guy because there are sometimes when no one calls, so he just talks about women (big time woman-izer) or some girls will call in and tease him (sexually speaking), etc (like the "cake lady").

Anyway, I started calling in maybe once a week if I caught the show (Due to the other talk radio station being on a commercial). I would do a George W Bush impression that, I thought, was okay, but this guy thinks is hilarious.

Well, apparantly, I have become a "regular" caller. I caught the show today (again, just because there were commercials on the other channel) and he was asking people to call in and say what they want for xmas. Sounds dull, but the guy is a career DJ, and he makes it interesting. He said if no one calls he was going to just play a song, which, I hate when he does that. So I call and I say:

ME "First off, I am not a girl" (I say this because he likes women to call)
DJ "I can hear that"
ME "I dont really have anything to say, I just wanted to call so you wouldn't play a song"
DJ (Laughs, says something that I cant remember)
ME (I kind of freeze and say) Fun fact; I am the guy who always calls in doing the Bush impression.
DJ then goes on about how great I am at it and that I should call more often. I tell him that I dont feel I am all that great at it. We banter back and forth a bit, me jumping into my Bush voice from time to time, him laughing. He even has added "Hail to the chief" to his sound board to play whenever I call now.

Anyway, I end the call, and turn my radio back up to listen to the end of me talking. Then, an older lady (60-ish) calls in and says:
"I just love that last caller. He is my most favorite of your regular callers, I hope he is listening" and the DJ remarks about how great I am...

Wow! That makes a cold, rainy day pretty tolerable!

Briarwood

That should at least get Sips and Jamison's attention. I read through the "Smoke Night" blog. No objections, I'm looking for a new job anyway. As you can see from the pics, I was using a $4.50 corn cob pipe. Great for beginners, but not good for those who want to have more than 10 smokes per pipe. It's also a quite warm to the touch. Anyway, I enjoyed the night so much, that I logged onto eBay and bought this:

Real Briar Pipe with black mouthpiece

I was going to post a picture, but the picture service was down.

I also have a plan to get my Dad's old pipes that he used to smoke before he had my oldest brother. Both of them are around 50 years old. I'm planning on framing them along with the story of their purchase and a plaque saying when my dad stopped smoking.

Have you ever...

Have you ever woken up to a strange car in your driveway, and not after a night of drinking? That happened to me this morning. I walk outside to get into my car and BAM! there's a white Nissan Pulsar from the 90's sitting in the drive. I looked inside. There was a Walmart (or Sams) badge on the rearview mirror. It read Monique. In the backseat was a small, pink child's chair (not car seat) with the word "princess" across it.

We think that our neighbor's were out-of-town, but their teenage son was still home. Hmmm...a little freaky-deaky going on? His dad is a minister. You think I should ask him about it?

So this is Christmas

This post is being written on pure emotion, so beware.

Why I hate Christmas.

I think i hate Christmas because I am self-sufficent to some degree.

If I want something that I do not have, I can:
a) Buy it
b) Save up for it, then buy it

If I NEED something (Like a stove, a microwave, a vacuum cleaner) then I can't ask for it because that makes an un-fun xmas gift (Please let me go the rest of this post by refering to Dec 25th as xmas, it is so much shorter to write).

Family members hound me: "What do you want? What do you want???" So if I tell them, they get it for me, and on xmas day I get to think "Oh wow, what a surprise... exactly...what...I...asked...for...."

But if you say "Dont get me anything" (Which, honestly, I would prefer) you ruin everyones xmas because they WANT to get you something.

BUT if you say "Get me whatever you think I will like" you make a huge mistake and end up getting a sweater that you pretend is nice and you never wear.

I swear, my brother is so easy to shop for for xmas. You ask him, and he tells you: "Cash".

If he doesn't ask for cash, he is very specific and thats what I get him, and no one is shocked on xmas day. One xmas he got me the star wars trilogy. Lo and behold it is what I asked for. Well, he asked for it too, so I got it for him. HOW STUPID! Thats like trading 20 dollar bills with someone.

Here are my favorite all time items that I own:
A polo shirt my sister in law got me. It is 4 years old and to this very day people tell me what a nice shirt it is. I did not ask for it, she did not ask me, and she picked it out on her own.

A belt I found at school on the ground

A hat I found at school, on the ground.

Donny Nesselroads torn up shirt he put in the trash can in the laundry room at Faulkner. I loved that shirt, now it is gone.

A free boat Josh and I share, it is almost 40 years old.

My plain ole black truck, that I bought after getting rid of a fast, red corvette.

So I am easy to please. My most enjoyable gifts are those people bought me without asking me. But, for some reason, I am afraid to ask my family to just buy something and surprise me with it. THERE ARE THE BEST GIFTS! But all xmas is now is:
"what do you want"
"I dunno, what do you want"
"just pickout something"
"youll hate it"
"no I wont!"
"ok, i need to buy a gift for 565 dirty santa parties this week though"

AUGH!!!!!!!!!!! GO AWAY SANTA!

oh, and decorations.... why is it that for 30 days, the tackiest, most awful looking decor is acceptable? I ask my wife "If it is so beautiful, why dont we leave it up year round?"

I am a mean one, Mr Grinch

How to smoke a pipe

1. Pack the pipe weed into the pipe

2.Light up and suck the flame into the pipe... while listening to your friend talk...

3. Make a concerned face after you puff a few... wait on your friend to catch up with you..

After-Thanksgiving fun

Fish heads fish heads... and tails... and guts... and bones...

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, Mark D invited me, my father-in-law (Brad) and Sip to fish at his wife's grandfathers pond deep in Elmore county.

I had fished there many times, so was ready to reel in the big ones. Due to their size the last time, Mark suggested we all bring coolers and keep some, to control the population as it seems the big ones are keeping all the smaller ones small, and making themselves only bigger.

Well, it was slow, naturally. Fishing is never really great in cold weather, but if you can hook one, you are doing good. I was disappointed honestly. I have fished that pond for over a year and never went 10 minutes without catching something. When it comes to fishing, I am not one of those people who say "I don't care if I don't catch anything, just being out on a boat is relaxing." Screw that crap, I want to catch fish!

Well, Josh and Mark were on one boat (with a trolling motor) and me and Brad were in another boat (with one paddle). I explained this to Brad before we left and he kept saying "You don't need a trolling motor for a pond." He changed his tune quickly when he learned that I was there to fish and not paddle. (He ended up giving me money for xmas, and said 'buy a trolling motor with this.") Oh, see the picture of Sip peeing next to the big tree. I couldn't resist taking that pic...

Anyway, Mark, using his secret weapon, (which isnt so secret because he uses it every time he fishes) started to reel them in. By the time he had 3 good sized bass, Josh had one too. I had none and Brad had none. Of course we both had about 4 that got away. When they jump out of the water, they would sling the hook out of their mouth. I guess we weren't setting the hook hard enough.

Anyway, the smack-talk started across the water. I would yell something to Mark and he would say "Sorry, I can't hear you due to all the fish flopping around in my cooler!" Or he would see us paddling and he would pat his trolling motor and say "$149 at Wal-mart baby!"

Well, I eventually reeled one in, nothing spectacular, maybe 2 pounds, but I was happy. Brad had no catches, so eventually we headed to the bank. As us 3 younger guys were putting all the bass in one cooler, and getting the boats ready to leave, Brad is fishing off the bank, and sure enough, hooks the 2nd biggest of the day (Mark pulled in the biggest) so he left happy.

But the best part was when we got home.

I had never fileted or cut up a fish. Brad had. We made a make-shift table in my driveway, pulled the fish out of the icey cooler and got to work. Brad taught me how to cut up the fish, so he fileted 3 and I fileted 3. I wasn't as gross as I thought it would be, since we didn't really "gut" the fish. The outside of a fish stinks, but the meat doesn't smell at all (Unless of course it is old.) The blood was minimal, or wasn't bothersome. And we got loads of meat off of them. 3 nights ago, I made a fish corn chowder that we like to make, only this time, I put bass meat in it. It was wonderful!

The feeling of having gone fishing, caught a fish, cut it up, then made a meal and ate the meal with the fish in it is wonderful.

Blur on you crazy line

10 points to Gryffindor house for the person who tells me what song the subject refers to...

When we were kids, there were certain jobs and activities that were set aside only for professionals; Disc Jockey, Movie Maker, Recording Musician, Business Owner, etc... Could we ever become one of these? Sure, with alot of money, alot of work, and alot of education.

But look now. The line between amateur and professional has been blurred so much thanks to technology. Photography equipment is now so advanced; the average 17 year old has equipment in his pocket that blows the pants of a pro from the 80s. We can take photos, edit them, and print them in our own home.

Video equipment is now advanced and cheap enough that anyone can pretty much make a decent movie with equipment bought at Best Buy. Even more, this person can edit the movie and add special effects on a computer that costs under $1,000.

We can now be a DJ thanks to iTunes and our iPod, we can record music with software most producers would only dream of in the 80s. More and more people work out of the home thanks to paypal, ebay, and google ads.

Examples go on for miles, so what is a true professionalism and what makes an amateur not a pro? It is no longer lack of technology, access, or money. Anyway, thought this was a neat observation... I mean heck, 10 years ago, who would have thought that we would all have a website like this? Everyone from Microsoft to the kid down the street has a website...

Hot Topic

Here is the Hot Topic essay that you guys helped me come up with. Feel free to add comments at the bottom, for they help boost my visibility on the site.

Language warning. The guys I wrote it with have foul tongues which like to curse, so if ye be offended by such things, BEWARE.

Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving.

Who let the dogs out, indeed...

As I sit here in my bedroom, in a house I pay a monthly mortgage for, I can hear, over the loud TV, dog barking.

I have a next-door neighbor, whom I love, who owns a German Shepard. This is a good dog, and barks only if another dog is within their property. The neighbors on my other side have two shiatsus, which bark like mad when they smell me in my back yard, but, lucky for me, they are inside dogs, and only come out to pee or poop.

The lady next to them owns a black cocker and a black lab. She lets them roam the street as they please, crapping in my yard and causing other dogs to bark. When locked up in the back yard, they too, bark like mad, at virtually everything.

But the line has been drawn recently.

The people who USED to live behind us have moved. In their place, a nice family of a man, a woman, and 2 girls has moved in. With them, come 2 dogs.

These dogs bark all the time.

At any, and everything. They hear a truck in the neighborhood, they bark, I go to my trash can, they bark, a dog in the neighborhood barks, they return with a bark. Their barking then causes other dogs to bark, in which case, the dogs behind me continue their barking.

I thought I left this crap when I moved out of an apartment complex, but I bought a pair of earplugs today. This is my house people. I should not have to buy earplugs to sleep peacefully. But last night, I assume someone in the neighborhood was moving, so a moving truck was coming in and out. This caused the dogs to bark. I was up till 11:30pm hearing the barking. I gave up trying to fall asleep and went into the living room to lie down and watch a Harry Potter movie. I fell asleep eventually and came to bed. I walk into my dark bedroom, stop, listen.. I hear barking, still. I glance at the clock... 12:30am.

I go into my bathroom and take a muscle relaxer. My muscles feel fine, but I don’t care, I will drug myself to sleep. I go back into the living room, flick around the TV for a while, then give up, and decide to go to bed and read until I fall asleep.

Sure enough, my wife tells me I fell asleep with a book in front of me with the lamp on; she turned it off at 4:30 this morning.

Friends... tell me, why do people own dogs and keep them outside?
Cattle, I understand, poultry and hogs, I understand. Goats, sure, keep them outside. But if you are going to buy your family a pet, and all you do is keep it in the back yard, you don’t have a pet, you have an animal that you keep locked up in the back yard... why? I can’t understand this???

Worse yet, if I had a dog and it barked past midnight, no one would say a word. Yet, if I go outside right now (9:30pm) and start saying the alphabet as loud as other dogs bark, I'd have the cops called on me.

SURELY the owners of these dogs hear them barking! SURELY it bothers them, or at least they consider that it MIGHT bother neighbors.

I am looking at my wife right now, she is sound asleep! Do I have supersonic hearing? Why do these dogs bother me so? Cats, suddenly, appear to be a wonderful animal to me!

So, by buying earplugs, have I caved in some way? Should a man be able to sleep peacefully in his own home without buying earplugs? I wore earplugs in the apartments we lived in, but I am in a HOME now!

What do I do? Introduce myself to the new neighbors and say "Hi, I am your neighbor behind you, your dog keeps me up past midnight every night, do something!"

FYI, I just muted my TV, the howling and barking was without pause and it sounds like I live in a zoo full of canine.

Is this against the law in anyway? Sound ordnance? I love(d) dogs, but now, when I lie in bed listening to them bark, I think of so many wonderful ways to do so many unwonderful things to the dogs....

What to do….

Is this love?

A little WhiteSnake for your singing-in-your-head pleasure (Sorry for you younger ones who don't remember WhiteSnake... you are probably better off actually.)

I just realized what love is.

I had an ingrown hair on my neck. It was in a spot what I simply could not see well enough while looking in a mirror to extract it.

My wife, voluntarily, offers to take a needle and tweezers and get the sucker out for me.

This, my friends, is love. It has nothing to do with sex, looks, or money. If your wife is willing to perform minor surgery on disgusting aspects of your body, you, my friend, have found a soul mate!

-J

Back to Blogging

I may have found somethin to ease my blogging woes. It's called an RSS reader. I allows me to constantly see what's been added to our blog. And it's free. But...you can't post with it. Maybe it's not perfect, but at least it may keep me informed.

Here's how:

1) Download here.

2) Set up your options in the feed properties

3) Use this URL in the address field: http://midnightcafediscussions.blogspot.com/atom.xml

4) Press subscribe.

You're Fired

I had to fire someone today. This was not the first time I’ve had to do such a thing, so it was not a completely new experience. Yet it is still quite unsettling.

The woman I had to fire was perfectly nice. She never said a negative thing. She came to work on time, was never tardy from break or lunches. She sat in her chair and did her job to the best of her ability. In many ways she was a model employee.

Except, she was a rather terrible collector. I’m a collections supervisor for a credit card company. My employees are paid to collect on past due accounts. The gig is all about numbers: number of calls made, numbers of cardholders contacted, payments converted, and of course, dollars collected. To survive you have to play the numbers.

This is something that this woman could just not do. You could say she was just too nice. And it’s true; to be a collector you have to have something of a dark side within you. But it is more than just being mean, there are plenty of very nice collectors who do excellent work. It’s part salesmanship, part thick-leathery skin, and mostly being able to push a little, prod a lot that gets the job done.

Besides not just having the collector instinct, this lady didn’t seem to grasp some of the fundamental concepts behind the job. Simple things that most people understand quickly and mold it into their work personality, she just couldn’t seem to get.

All of this is to say that the termination could be seen from a far distance. In fact, I had a long conversation with her a couple of weeks ago, warning her that unless things really improved, I’d have to let her go. Things did get better, she did improve, but not nearly enough to warrant keeping her on the payroll.

So, this afternoon, I pulled her aside, and let her go.

Did I mention that this lady had mentioned to my boss a couple of weeks back that I “made her uncomfortable?” Earlier, on that day, I had reached across her person and logged her out of the system, using her mouse. This is something I do often, and is only a gesture meant to expedite the process of them getting off the phone so that I may talk to them. Apparently this gesture offended her in some way, enough to make her say something to my boss.

Now, she never used the word “harassment” but this is the first thing that rang in my head when my boss told me. Holy crap! Visions of lawsuits and besmirching of my permanent record began ringing in my head.

Now here I was approaching her so that I could terminate her permanently.

I called Human Resources to tell them I was none to comfortable having that conversation. They insured me it would be ok and told me to have another supervisor with me.

It went as well as those things go. I explained it wasn’t personal, wished her well and sent her on her way. She gave me the whole “I really need this job” speech, but I had to stand firm.

I hate this. She really was a nice lady, possible harassment charges and all. And here I am throwing her out, not long before Christmas and all that.

Terminating employees is part of my job, I accept this. But it still sinks my heart.

Post termination, I hid out in the back of the office, allowing her time to gather her things and leave the office. I didn’t want any awkward moments where she was passing my desk in order to tell her workmates goodbye.

As she left, and I reentered the floor, a coworker, decides to tell me she is sitting in her car, crying.

Yeah, like I needed that.

So, here I am feeling like a heel, and there she is without a job.

This sucks.

one wild ride

So I've been away from blogging for a while to clear my head. In the mean time I've been thinking about a motorcycle show. I hooked up with a real bike jock here at work and he's connected me to a couple of amazing links, one of which I wanted to share.
http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=41699
There is no need to have a passing interest in riding to absolutely love this site. The root site is a collection of adventure riding logs; this guy the striking viking is amazing. Since I got the link at 10am I've not moved from it until now at 5pm, it's been a slow day.
Breakdown man sells his farm in California, invests cash into a BMW bike, the only bike I'd ever want to own. Makes bike world worthy and ships it to Japan. I'm on page 87 and this guy has traveled on two wheels from Japan to Siberia to Germany, through the Middle East (Gaza, Palestine, West Bank, everywhere) through Nepal and now about to reach Thailand and he's far from done.
This site is full of pictures and one of a kind commentary that's just astounding.

Semen Washer

This is just funny. The last line is the best, but don't just skip to it.

Semen Washer # 7 on Popolar Sciences' "10 Worst Jobs of 2005"

WD Forum

I may have brought this up before, but I am a member of the Writer's Digest Forums.

The forums are a place on the web where aspiring and professional writers can mix, mingle, and meet. I have been posting on there for a couple of months now and have learned more about writing, getting an agent, and getting published than I have in the last two years!

I post this not merely for information, but with the hopes that any of you guys who might be interested in writing (hint, hint guys) might go there and join the conversation. I have had my name in the newsletter, met several published authors, received a free magazine from WD, and recently even received a free novel!

The novel is a brand new book by debut author Brian Strause titled Maybe A Miracle. It was sent to me and ten other people out of the over 600 users on the forums. We are the core review/discusion group for the novel and are there to ramp-up the Book Buzz forum! This sort of thing is right up Brew's alley!

Anyway, I just wanted y'all to have a chance to come on in and join-up if you want. It's lots of fun and you'll meet many, talented, nice people.

Mr. Trips

Y'all remember my idea for a site that had to do with backyard adventures? Well, here is a site that deals with something like it. Funny thing is that one of the guys who's involved with it is the agent who's looking at my book right now! Anyway, I thought it was interesting.

Okay all you child psychologists...

I was teaching inner city last night.

Typically, the classes are anywhere from 6 to 9 students. Ages from 8 to 10 years old.

It is standard that one child acts up every class. Acts up enough to distract the other kids. This child is sent out of the class, no questions asked and the classes go on smoothly and fun from there.

Last night was no different. The rule is that no child is allowed to use the bathroom during class, and no child it allowed to get water during class. We have to do this. Otherwise, they will all ask to go, whether then have to or not. Class is only 40 minutes long, and any child that doesn't have a bladder issue can handle this. (Well, one kid has wet their pants once, but that’s a minority).

So, this one girl is clearly not pleased to be in class. So she tries the old "I have to use the bathroom" routine. It is ignored by me and the other guy teaching, because we know the drill. She persists; I explain to her that I can't let her go, why didn't you go before you left, etc... Seeing that this isn’t working, she then complains of stomach pains. Then says she is about to throw up. I almost fall for this one, until she does a very unconvincing gag. She begs again to leave to throw up, to which my other teacher (Mark D) responds "Just make sure you keep it on your paper and it don't go on the floor."

She goes on and on about this until I am finally fed up. I go to the door, open it up and say, "Get out." To which she replies by sitting still and smiling. After several attempts to ask her to get out, I finally walk over to her. I am not afraid to manhandle these kids and they know it. She then runs under the table, to where she is caught by my other teacher and 'escorted' out.

Now, forget this is inner city. Trust me, white kids that age are much worse. 95% of these kids love being there, and leave having learned a real Bible story, and in some cases, a memory verse even though half of them read at much lower levels than they should.

So, what is the deal? This girl does everything in the book to get out of class, then, when given the opportunity, she refuses.

I'm So Proud...

of my wife! Hopefully she won't kill me for posting this. I just think she's doing a great job!Check out these websites she's been building! They aren't complete, yet. But, she has really done a lot to them thus far and they look very nice and professional in my opinion.

This one is a site about kids and money management.

This one is a site for a lady who embroiders stuff on purses, clothes, etc.

Enjoy! They should be completely functional before too long!

The Agents Are Coming! The Agents Are Coming!

Well, y'all wish me luck. I have an agent who's interested enough in my manuscript to request the first three chapters. This guy has agented for Clive Cussler, Richard Marcinko, and several other big sellers. Maybe something will turn out for me! I'll keep you all updated!

Here is a link to some info on the agent.

Holy Crap!

Check this out.

Last Friday management had our weekly 6:30 AM meeting. My boss mentions that she read in the paper how a person, sharing the same name as one of our employees, was arrested Nov. 1 for stealing $150,000 from the company she worked for. We get all excited trying to figure out if this girl, and our employee were one and the same.

The ages were close, and they lived in the same town. How many people can have the same name, be of the same age and live in the same town, we wondered.

A little later, our employee didn't show up for work. We made calls to the HR department and found out they were one in the same. Since we are a credit card company and our employees deal with other people's financial information every day, we were very concerned. HR called the temp agency we had hired her out of, determined it was the same girl, and immediately terminated her.

Crazy stuff.

Babies

Here's a little quote I had as a mantra for a while: "When you wake up one day and say, you know, I don't think I'll ever need sleep or sex again... Congratulations! You're ready to have children." (Ray Romano)

But really, I can't count the number of times I wanted to just drop the birth control pills and get pregnant. I'm so glad I didn't because now I've got Luke and we're in a situation where I can stay at home with him and not worry too much about money or anything else. I finished school. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it, since nobody really asks you if you've got an art degree when applying for the job of stay-at-home mom. But then Josh reminds me what an accomplishment it was, how proud I can be, and that in the future I may want to get a job where it'll come in handy. And he's right.

First, let me say that I've never been happier in my whole life. But let me also say that I didn't get a full night's sleep for well over a year. Luke woke up every single hour many many nights. I (and Josh) was lucky to get 3 solid hours of sleep. I was a zombie. A happy zombie, but a zombie nonetheless. I could not have gone to school during this time even if it had been the second grade. School is different from work in two very important ways: one, you don't get paid, but you pay out to go to school; and two, the bulk of your work is done at home after-hours when you're in school. Diana, think with your head not your heart right now. I know what it's like, I've been there, and it's not easy when your womb is tugging at your heart.

Live your desires through me, my friends...

Okay, so maybe they are not strong desires...

But, think back to high school. How many opportunities did you have to stand on a desk or run in the halls and not get in trouble?

Enjoy!

(My plan was to take many more pics doing things that were against the rules. I never got around to it. I guess if you consider the fact that we have uniforms here and I am not wearing one, thats 3 rules I am breaking)

The last of the interviews...

I think I have decided that I no longer want to go on a job interview as long as I live.

I don't know why I still seek them out and why I look forward to them. When I get done with them, I feel either:
1) Bored
2) Humiliated
3) Stupid
4) All of the above

I had one today. It was sort of spur of the moment. A gal at church has a dad who works for the toll bridge company (Not working a booth, state-wide home office is 2 miles from my house). I mentioned to her that I have applied for 2 or 3 jobs there and never got an interview. A few days later, she emails me and tells me to forward my resume to her dad. And there ya go, I had an interview today.

It started out okay. The usual call-me-in-10-minutes late routine. I think they do that just to see if you will get mad at them. And I hate walking in all dressed up. Everyone looks at you; they KNOW you are there for an interview. ARG! I HATE IT! So we sit down at a big table with who I assume to be a fellow HR employee who says 10 words the whole interview.

The gal interviewing me was a very nice, very slim, very attractive black lady who was certainly not a day over 26. The interview went very well until she got to a section that she described as "Standard HR questions." which typically dealt with morals and job performance scenarios.

These questions were normal at first; “What give you satisfaction in life?”, “If you work with someone who is stealing from the company, what do you do?” What aspect of your job are you most successful at?”, etc. I hate these questions too, but the worst is yet to come.

I was asked “What do you think about when you are alone?” Believe me, the first thing to pop into my head was “You don’t wanna know.” But this sweet gal turned into a professional, straight faced rock when these questions started rolling. I froze and said after about 30 seconds of thinking; “What’s for dinner…?” No smile.

The other bad question was “If you have a negative day at work, how do you get rid of the negativity?”… Again, I freeze and say “Go home, let it stew, then wash it off in the shower…” I kid you not, no smile.

At least in this interview, I did not get bored. Most companies will give you a 10 minutes description about how great their company is, how long they have been around, and all the wonderful things they do. It is at this point in the interview that my eyes glaze over and I toss in a few nods and maybe the occasional raised-eyebrows with the finger-to-mouth. They spared me this torture in this interview.
Anyway, I’ve decided never to go to another interview again, unless it is me interviewing someone. I think I want to work for myself. Help me think.

A Nice Saturday

Saturday, the in-laws came up for a visit. We decided to take a picnic lunch at the Brown County State park. Figuring this was the last weekend to catch the changing leaf colors, we hurried out even though the cloud covers looked like rain. Luckily we got no rain, and even the sun poked its head out now and again.

We had a very lovely picnic, with quite a spread. There was the organic, rosemary bread, honey roasted ham and turkey, with our choice of several fine cheeses. Amy made a little fruit bowl filled with fresh apples, walnuts and blue cheese. We had fresh tomatoes, dill pickle kettle chips, and some chocolate no-bake cookies to top it all off. A picnic to perfection it was.

There wasn’t a lot of variety in the colors of the trees; we got lots of yellows and oranges, but very few shades of red. What we lacked in variety was more than made up for in brightness.

You wouldn’t know it from the drive, but the park is actually over 1,000 feet above sea level. It is often called the “little smokies” and looking down into some of the valleys I can see why. A light fog drifted over much of the thick covered trees filling the valley and mountain side.

After lunch we took a nice 1.25 mile hike down into a valley and over to one of the two small lakes. It was a refreshing hike, and though my out of shape body was tired in the end, it felt good to be exercising again.

After the hike we drove around the rest of the park, stopping to take pictures at most of the sight seeing ledges, and headed home.

A lovely day it was.

Seminal Moments

I just had a seminal moment.

These are moments in your life that you'll always remember as turning-points.

The moment you knew you were going to spend your life with your soon-to-be wife.

The moment you found out you were going to have a baby.

The moment you became a Christian.

Today, Rachel called me and let me know how she and Luke were doing. She put the phone up to Luke's ear and let me talk to him as usual. I didn't expect him to say anything, as usual.

Then he said it! "Daddy."

In that word, I could hear "I love you more than I can express."

It was at that moment I knew something close to how much God love us.

A seminal moment of the highest degree.

seinfeld dream

All my dreams have come true... well, okay, all my dream-wishes have occurred in my dreams...

I am seriously considering dedicating my personal blog to my dreams. I know my dreams are stupid and really don't fit this blog, but I like to share them because they make me laugh so much.

I had a dream I was in an episode of Seinfeld. I don't know if I was an additional character or a replacement of Jerry (Because I don't remember seeing him in the dream). Never-the-less, we are in Jerry's apartment. I can't remember the details, but Elaine and George have a fight and Elaine storms out.

Next scene is "the coffee shop" but looked nothing like the set in the TV show. It looked more like an Applebee’s or TGI Fridays, but painted in yellows, blues, and reds. Very bold. Elaine is sitting at a table with Kramer and 2 other strange looking men (I presumed one to be 'Bob Sacameno'). George and I walk in and we don’t even exchange looks at Elaine. George notices that Sylvester Stallone is sitting at the 'bar'. He tells me he is going to start a conversation with him.

Knowing how George can ruin a situation like this, I discourage him from doing it. He says "trust me" and I follow along with him. He sits to Stallone's left and I sit to George's left. George orders a drink, then says to me (in a way that Sly can hear him) "Yeah, I sure love hunting in Iraq!". In the dream, we have the knowledge that Stallone loves to hunt in Iraq, so I follow his lead. Sly then turns with a curious smile and says to George "So you like hunting in Iraq?" and from there the conversation goes on; "What kind of gun do you use?", "What do you hunt?", "What month do you usually go in?" and so on...

Sly excuses himself and says he enjoyed talking to us. Amazed at George's performance I congratulate him on how non-gushy-fan he sounded (albeit, he was lying the whole time) and George is congratulating himself to no end.

(Here is the funniest part of the whole dream.) As we are leaving the 'coffee shop' we hear Elaine and Kramer discussing something. Elaine appears to be a bit upset at something and as we walk out the door I hear her say loudly "Hold the Huggies $h!t"... said in a way that we might say "Hold the phone!" or "Hold up just one minute!"

I had never heard this phrase in my life, but found it quite hilarious after I woke up. I assume Huggies to be referring to the diapers. Sadly, today is Sunday, and all day that phrase has been popping into my head. I suppose I could coin this phrase but change it to "Hold the Huggies crap!". Then, of course, it would blossom on its own to include the "S" word... What say ye? Will you help me start this phrase? If it gets big, you'll know I started it!

Spell checked and ribbed for your pleasure...

The Hot Topic

For the last several weeks I’ve been writing a group article with some pals from Blogcritics. It’s called the Hot Topic and we basically discuss anything and everything. Kind of like we do around here, but it’s way more organized, and we publish it to a world wide audience.

Each week, one of us comes up with a topic and kind of a thesis statement. Then the rest of the gang chimes in with their perspective and we go from there. So far we have discussed, Buying Music at Starbucks, the Death of Cooking, and Favorite Scenes. My turn to come up with a subject is near, and I need some help.

So, I’m soliciting ideas on what I should present as my Hot Topic. I want to stay away from politics and religion because those topics can go sour so quickly, but anything else is up for grabs. Me being me, I’m thinking of something along the lines of movies or music, but I’m really up for anything interesting.

To get you started, my idea for the moment is something along the lines of foreign films. Too many people, including my mom, hate foreign films. Don’t like to “read” them. But there are so many brilliant films out there that happen to be in a separate language. It’s a shame to miss them. Problem with this topic is that I’m not sure how much discussion I can get out of it.

So, bring me your ideas, or expound upon my own.

And….GO!!

Total Update

I know the Subject may be misleading, but in a since I'm going to catch you guys up.

Jodi's car was totaled. We found out about a week-and-a-half ago. For the past two weeks it has been my responsibility to take Alexandra to and from school (aka: day-care). Other than the traffic, I have enjoyed every moment of that experience. We'd talk, play, and groove to the music. She loves dance and pop music. She also loves to jabber (speaking of which. I'm doing that now).

During this past week Jodi has been taking as many opportunities to test drive and look for her next vehicle. Yesterday (Saturday) we dropped Alexandra off at a friends house at 8:30 a.m. (we were hoping to be back by 6 p.m.). And we set out to take a slow path that would eventually lead us to B-ham (actually Hoover).

She had decided cars and vans were out. She wanted an SUV that was on a car chassis . That list includes the Honda CRV, Toyota Rav4 and Highlander, Lexus something or another, Chevy Equinox, Buick Rendezvous, Saturn Vue, etc.... Needless to say we test drove many vehicles and were very tired by the end of the day. Well the whole reason we ended up in Hoover was that was the only place that had used Toyota Highlanders. Jodi had driven a new one but was not interested in a new price tag.

To make a long story short, we ended up with a "Salsa Red Pearl" 2005 Toyota Highlander with 11.5K miles. We had two dealers duking it out and ended up with a good deal even without a trade-in.

BTW: no job update for me this week.

Smoke em if ya got em...

I had one of the most enjoyable nights this past Thursday night. Ironically, it cost virtually nothing and involved sitting in one place for a long period of time.

The Sip and myself have our Thursday night jam session as we always do. Sip has taken up the stand-up bass and I must say, must be a natural at this thing. He has played it maybe 3 times and you can hardly tell he is there because he never misses a note or a beat, just blends right in...

Anyway, I had brought my little box of 2 cigars, pipe tobacco, a corncob pipe, and my lighter. After practice we headed to Sips home. We went inside first, grabbed some ice water, and I took two Dove dark chocolate pieces and tossed them into my smoke box.

We headed out to Sips "outdoor living room" which is quite relaxing. A small fish pond with an ever flowing fountain, a comfortable bench, and a sip-made table to prop your feet on. There were some candles in the house so I brought two out and lit them and sat them on the table. It was very cafe-esque.

We lit our popes and just sat and talked about anything and everything. Before the night was over, both of us had urinated outside. We took a small walk around the backyard, which was dog-crap-free and returned to the bench to refill our pipes.

We swapped weed. The general consensus is that my weed was more desirable than Sips. After our smoking, we washed it down by letting some dark chocolate melt in our mouths and them some ice water.
Not much more than that. Sounds pretty romantic don't it? But we didn’t have any "Sex-shu-al re-lay-shuns" but it was a nice time with a good friend.

Accountability to God and Child.

This week Isaac came home with a two inch cut on the inside of his upper right arm. I was somewhat shocked by this until I he told me how this happened. “Kayla Pearson scraped me with a wood chip.”
This is not an easy place to get a cut and had to have required some effort. This did not surprise me because a few weeks ago Isaac developed a black eye which lasted some two weeks given to him by Kayla Pearson. There is a new incident every week that has her name on it which has included hitting, kicking, shoving, spitting and other various forms of nuisance.

So after the cut and Isaac getting two sad faces on his daily report one which was prompted by him and Kayla bugging each other Jules and I sat down with our oldest boy and told him that if he shouldn’t play with her any more. We explained they always get in trouble when together or Isaac comes home and tells us about her hitting him or otherwise receiving some sort of injury.

Today as I dropped of Isaac Kayla Pearson was sitting near the door playing, by herself. There have been many mornings that she’s already sitting at the teacher’s desk because she’s done something; it’s not even 9am yet mind you. As I say bye to my boy the tussled hair and blue eyes of Kayla look up at me as she asks, “Why did you tell Isaac he couldn’t play with me anymore?”
My first thought was “because you’re mean” but I thought better of it and leaned down to try and give her an answer she might understand with a bit of tact.
I ended up telling her that she and Isaac are always fighting, he is always on the receiving end of getting hurt and that if they can’t play together nicely they shouldn’t play together. I then recanted my newly enforced no play rule and said they could play as long as they didn’t hit and hurt each other.

I said bye to Isaac and left. The short walk to my car rattled in my head as this little girl was stopping me in my tracks because of actions I’ve set upon my son. She was holding me accountable for my actions and rules as they pertain to Isaac. Simultaneously I was realizing that someday I will be looking to the thrown of God and have that exact type of question, though on a much grander scale, being asked of me.

Last night we went looking for some shoes for Isaac, he found some rain boots or “fireman boots” but they were too small, he wanted those and daddy said no, insert meltdown. I got cranky and bothered because I didn’t like the way he was acting or the way I was acting. His excuse was that he hadn’t eaten dinner yet and mine was that sometime I’m a cranky old ass.

Later my thoughts turned to God and his ability to overlook the times when his kids are fussy, hungry, and crying while laying in the floor of K-Mart (I’m boycotting Wal-Mart). In the reflective face of God I’ve got to relax a bit with my boys.

There is an amazing grace in the heart of a child. I know that today people consider the thoughts of a child to be very refreshing while still not placing a lot of stock in those little minds. For those of you who have smaller kids there are moments when the giggling faces twist and contort and push you to the edge. Amazingly enough those same faces pull you back in obviously in parallel with Gods grace.

Where myths come from.

OK I’ve been a big fan of various mythological whatnot for a long time. I love the fantastic idea that someday I’m going to happen upon some diminutive creature that is going to take me to some other world to meet other amazing creatures. This stems from a rich and nurtured imagination and the more mature desire to understand why people believe what they believe.

For centuries myths of all types have circulated across the globe and I think that they are actually truthful. At least they are rooted in some sort of truth. I’ve linked a story which is from a Ripley’s Believe it Or Not episode about a boy born with a “tail”. They them selves make a comparison to a Hindu god many worship.

Have you guys ever studied such myths and considered their origins? More so, have any of you done side research to find such abnormal human examples of modern explainable situations that could have been predecessor’s that years later could have had a mythology developed around it.

There are children born with one eye or no eyes: Cyclopes, multi-headed humans and animals like Cerberus the mythic dog guarding the gates of Hades, tailed children, reflecting Hindu gods. Autism and savants who have complete and total recall of a situation or prodigy like traits.

It’s strange to consider that some time ago if such a child were to survive they could be deified where in modern times they would have been in a freak show or medical mystery.

Users are losers and losers are users; So don't use drugs...

This may not entertain anyone here since none of ya'll really work in the tech support industry. However, over my many years in this field, I have narrowed the main types of users that there are. There are many many more than these 3, but yesterday, I carried a heavy computer from the one end of campus to the other (the furthest distance you would have to walk) and got stopped by 3 of the folllowing users...

1) The "follow up in person" user. This user will get an email that is pretty straight forward, then reply to you. Typically, the transaction is finished here, however, when this user sees you in person, they find it the perfect time to continue the email conversation as though it has not yet stopped.

Example: I send out an email to all users warning them about a new danger in AOLs instant messenger. I referenced a web link and told them how to avoid getting the virus. One user replies (Even though no reply was needed) explaining to me how she doesn't use it at work but does at home. Confused, I tell her to be careful at home. A day later I am lugging a heavy computer and we cross paths, I nod, she waves. Then I hear her call my name from behind. Surely this is an emergency, she certainly sees me carrying this heavy load. Oh no, not so. She says "What's the deal with that AOL virus thing?" Befuddled by the question, I ask "You read my email...?" She replies "Yes, but I have used AOL for years and never had a problem." I literally stumbled over my words, while trying to keep the computer held up in my hands... she stood resolute, waiting an explanation to which I reploed "Just don't click links that people send you in aol." and I walked on.

2) The "I know you are busy but I just have one quick question" user.

Sure, all questions are quick, but when everyone stops you in the hall while you are carrying a 30 pound box, there is no such thing as a quick question...
"If I bring a printer from home, can we put it on my classroom computer?"
"Sure, no problem, just email me to remind me"
"I was just about to do that! Thanks so much!"
I'm thinking "So had you not seen me in the hall, you would have never had the opportunity to ask me this question? And if you were about to email me, and saw I was busy and straining to hold up this computer, why did you stop me?"

FYI, I have yet to get an email from her...

3) The "Pick up where we left off" user...

Occationally, teachers will solicite me to fix thier personal computers. I am cool with it as long as they bring it to me and I dont have to come to their house. About a week ago, one teacher come to my office explaining a problem she was having with her PC at home. I told her to bring it in and I would look at it. The day I was carrying this computer, she stops me and says (No joke) "Yeah, i called dell and they couldnt figure it out..."
"sweating, and straining, I readjust the computer in my arms and look at her confused and say "What are you talking about again...?"

she refreshes my memory...

Needless to say, yesterday about 9am (about 24 hours after this long haul) I pulled a muscle in my back from literally doing nothing... it just hit me. $20 doctor copay and a $20 pharmacy copay later, I have muscle relaxers in my bathroom....

I almost want to send out an email saying "If you see me carrying something, please dont stop me in the hall. I have pulled a muscle in my back due to such actions this week." But of course, I wont...

Workers comp?

Christianity and the primordial ooze

Brew brought up an interesting point which I think can merit a bit of delving.
Collectively the members of this blog adhere to a fairly strict set of “guidelines” established without an ecclesiastical hierarchy. We all agree that through the diligent searching of Biblical texts the “church” as we recognize it is set up in a good way.

During the Crusades, Exploration (insert conquering) of new worlds, and various other tumultuous times throughout the “Church” (note: C, big C) history. During these eras Christianity was spread much in the same way as Islam and that’s by conquering the guys who didn’t believe the same thing.

Though it’s been proven time and time again that the four gospels are as accurate as they could be having in some cases only being written a decade after the crucifixion if not sooner that bad stuff has happened in the besmirched name of God.

In bypassing the historical “Church” do we have the right to claim a new “church” based on the evolution of the practitioners of this sect of the modern church?
My point is this. I don’t consider the faith of those who enacted the crusades, witch hunts and other murderous activities a part of my “church” because of their perception of of Biblical texts. Those folks followed a man not the words, actions and deeds of the Son of Man.

The worlds most dangerous blog

This blog is the worlds most dangerous blog. How so? Well, for one thing, we do two things that you are taught to never do socially:

1) We talk about religion
2) We talk about politics

These topics are frowned upon in our society because they are two topics that people feel strongly about and are not likely to change their opinions about, hence, arguments come up.

I personally dont like to bring these topics up, even among friends. Debates are fine, but when we get close to arguing, I dont like it. I try to stand my ground and my positions, but I typically get drowned out by conspiracy rhetoric or "if that is bad, then this is bad" arguments, and it just turns into a circle where we end the argument feeling the same way as we did when we started, accomplishing very little.

However, one thing I like about us as friends. Though these topics are heated, we avoid two dangerous things:

1) We don't take personal attacks at each other
2) We don't call each other names

An outsider may see our blogs and think "How can these people be friends?" But then they will notice that there are no personal attacks on one another.

I will say this;
While the political and religious blogs are annoying, they do allow me to think more. Particularly the religious ones. That is a good thing.

This is NOT a call to stop all religious and political comments. It is just something I noticed. That good life long friends can have heated arguments and not have any personal attacks on each other. I noticed NO girls were posting in some of those posts which made me assume they either had no clue as to what we were talking about, or afriad to get in the middle of the 'fight'.

Oh right where art they rebuke?

OK so a friend was on a “Christian” rant yesterday and I called him out hard. I couldn’t sit and go through these rash generalizations massing the Christians who have screwed him over personally and the ones screwing over everyone from Pennsylvania Ave.

Here is one of his points which I think is pretty valid. From day one W has touted his Christian values and a fairly conservative agenda, no worries. 1st term closes on the heels of 9/11 and an active threat of continued terrorism.
Hunkering down under a conservative based, all American, God fearing, American morals, Fight for Freedom banner the second term rolled into office with less than stellar numbers, yet ready to spend some political capitol. The Christian right had utilized and moved in mass to re-elect W with no questions. Christians needed and must have a believer in the white house during these trying times.

Some time later the great white hope of Christian freedoms and smaller government has been riddled with the admission of going to war based on incorrect information, nepotism, cronyism (I’m happy to learn this is an actual word), hovering indictments, botched Homeland Security and FEMA appointments / restructuring and inadequate actions, a surging debt and plunging economy, continued outsourcing, environmental damage and over 2000 solemnly distributed American flag our great Christian leader takes little to no responsibility, when he gets called to the mat he seals records like in the early case of his National Guard duty his pappy got him in TX to prove one way or the other that he actually showed up for work or not. W never actually said one way or another he said he remembered reporting for duty but never said, yes I was there, he simply sealed the records.

Should a Christian choose people with a shady business background and interests to be his VP. Should he have no say in who walks the halls of the white house under his appointees? No he can’t screen everyone but Rove and Libby, really he should have better control over his cabinet. His approval rating is in the tank and still there is no outcry from the Christian supports of the guy. He has lied, sent scapegoats to the slaughter along with unprotected soldiers while his cabinet is involved with enough shady business to be under several different investigations of wrongdoing.

W’s predecessor may have been a horny bastard but he didn’t send children into a unwarranted conflicts and position the American economy atop a financial bubble that wiggles, jiggles, shimmies and quakes at every minor problem.

How does the guy continue to get support from the Christian right? I think that aside from holding the title of most vacationed president in history (undisputable fact) he need to say on vacation, when he is things don’t get as screwed up as when he tries to go back to work.

Vice President is for Torture

Scary stuff boys. Scary stuff.

So what say ye pundits of the cafe. Should the US violate Geneva Conventions to protect us from terror? Can we do basically whatever we want to keep us safe?

Totaled or not totaled, that is the question...

Jodi, got in a wreck a few days ago...What is this going around in our group? I think we are the third so that should make everyone else safe ("bad news travels in threes"). No-one was hurt and it was her fault (If you want more details scroll).

Well, We did not think it was as much damage as it looks like it is. The repair estimate is somewhat high, and it might just be over the threshold. We are waiting to hear and I will post as we find out more. We may be in the market for another car. Stay tuned!

Accident Report:
She was turning across Vaughn road from where the French Quarter Cafe used to be. She saw it was clear looked the other direction to make sure it was clear. Started going and by that time someone else had turned from the other shopping center into a lane she was about to cross...on thing lead to another bada-bing...bada-boom. She was at fault.

"I Heard an Old, Old Story..."

I taught a class at our last congregation that was all about singing and songs.

One of the things I did during the very first class was ask what every person's favorite worship song was and why. Some people smiled as they told everyone, some broke down and cried. In subsequent classes, we'd sing two or three songs and discuss the scriptures that went with them.

In any case, I was wondering the same about you guys. What's your favorite church song and why?

I'll start.

My fave is Jesus, Rose of Sharon. Part of the reason I love it is that we are speaking directly to Jesus when we sing it. "Jesus, Rose of Sharon, Bloom within my heart. Beauties of they truth and holiness impart."

Also, I appreciate that it brings in the symbolism of Jesus as a "Rose of Sharon". The term "Rose of Sharon" is used in Song of Solomon by the male writer to describe his wife. Song of Solomon has been referred to as the story of Christ's love for us as well.

Sharon is a place in ancient and modern day Israel that is the most fertile plain in the whole region. It receives regular rains and produces beautiful, strong, healthy crops. So, a "Rose of Sharon" would be considered the most beautiful, strong, and fragrant flower ever held.

Pumpkin Carving

We had our annual pumpkin carving party last night. Come on over to see all the pumpkins and the winner of the contest!

Depression

Today in chuch, Tony said that there was a study done and out of all Christian churches, the church of Christ had the highest rates of depression.
He mentioned a reason why, but I want to hear your thoughts.
Discuss.

prespective blessings

So I’m comfortable in my little world I have a nice roof over my head a beautiful wife and loving, healthy children and a good job. Suddenly I get a whim and buy a lottery ticket, out of the blue, the odds seem so out standing that taking the whole thing seriously is silly. A day later I get up and check the numbers to find that I’ve won 340 million in cold hard cash.

Could this not be providential in some way? God allowed Satan to test Job’s character and resolve. Who am I to question God allowed tests or blessings either way. For some the test could come in calamity, a hot intern, drinking, statue or wealth. For others blessings may come in health, family, well being, friends, or maybe even a measure of wealth.

I do keep that whole eye of the needle comment in mind while I’m writing this. I also keep in mind the perspective of financial wealth being based TOTALLY on one’s perspective and situation. To some, my paycheck is far more than what they make and they could envy that, while I look around at the execs in this building and realize their wealth is attractive to me.

There are some minor arguing point I’m leaving out to see if they find their way in later.

I just won 340 million!

I’m practicing what my blog title will be tomorrow…

Well at lunch today I’ve picked up my Powerball ticket and damn if it doesn’t smells like a hot one!

200 million and above is the only time I get interested in playing the silly thing and I really couldn’t think of a better way to waste five bucks, yes aside from in the collection plate... This jackpot is 340 million! I saw that if you were to take the lump sum, after taxes it would be $160 million in one check! Not bad really. I can’t remember how it breaks down if you take the winnings over a number of years but the payout is 20 years.

So if lady luck shines on the Mullins family tonight I would like to choose a second option for getting together in March, perhaps it might be nice to hang out on our newly purchased private island or our mountain villa in Hawaii. Air and travel expenses will of course be taken care of.

Hitting the jackpot is a 1 in 146,107,962 odds.
But if you’re interested in following along here are my numbers.
(isn’t it a wonderful guilty pleasure…)
1, 18, 33, 35, 43 & 26
8, 12, 15, 33, 47, & 23
3, 10, 29, 43, 54, & 18
2, 11, 12, 26, 53, & 8
7, 17, 31, 39, 45, & 13

So, not that anyone is a sinner like me, but if you were given a massive sum of money what would you do.

First and foremost I’d set up untouchable accounts for a number of my immediate family. All they could do it remove a percentage of money every month ensuring they could not cash out their funds completely and pay off a large chunk of any debts.
My boys would be trust fund kids, collecting interest on accounts allowing a small cash out once they had their degrees. They would also have to have and keep some sort of job.
I would travel the world. I would also set up funds to assist Christian missions across the globe. I would also sickly enough film documentaries about those missionaries and make TV shows. I’m sure Jules would travel with me if only to check out local spas across the globe.
I’d throw a few humdingers and try to make my friends happy too. I’d like to payoff the loan on the church building but who knows if they would take sinners money.

It's a world of fun, it's a world of fun....

Had an odd dream last night and am happy to share it with others...

On my way to work, there is a new neighborhood I pass each day. It is filled with horrible cheap housing (Not just the price, but the way they are made). These homes are ALL vinyl siding, except the front which is nice brick.

It is a horrible looking way for a contractor to save thousands of bucks while still charging a high amount for the home. But last night I had a dream that Larissa and I moved into one.

I have vivid memories of trying to find a place to park my truck so it didn't get muddy. Odd thing was that I was packing things up and taking them OUT of the house rather than putting them in.

I think this may have to do with the fact that the house was fully furnished. However, all the furnishing were horrible, 1970s retro furnishing.

All the carpet was light blue shag. All the decor was tacky. There were hanging lamps everywhere. But the master bathroom was nice (Although it was in dark blue and yellow tile).

On either side of the furnished king sized bed were two columns that stopped about 2 feet from the ceiling. On top of each one was a large doll, the kind used for decoration. Josh was sitting on our bed as Larissa and I were unpacking. I said to him "Oh no, there are dolls in here" and he laughed and started to act like a robot and singing the "It's a small world after all" song. But he sang it like I do... by making up the words... I just say "It's a world of fun, it's a world of fun..." and so on throughout the song.

Neither that ride nor the song nor the characters on the ride scare me, but when he started singing this song, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest asking him to stop and I stared sobbing uncontrollably. He stopped and looked at Larissa like I was mental, but she of course understood that I hate dolls.

Then I woke up...

Im tearing up now typing this...

Football, Revisited

We discussed all things sports the other day via e-mail, but I have decided to bring it up again through the blog.

I work as collections supervisor for a call center. We have roughly 40 odd employees working on the floor in my section. My desk sits on the floor very close to everyone. This is to say that I can hear just about everyone's conversations.

There is a group of young men, who sit a cubicle row away from me, whom I like to call frat-boy wannabees. This is because they are of college age, but while not in college act like your typical frat boy – they like to party, get drunk, and talk constantly about sex and sports. Mostly sports.

Last Monday they literally talked non stop, for their 8 hour shift, about football. This happened to be the Monday night that the Indianapolis Colts were playing a game. And I live near the heart of Colt country.

But seriously, 8 hours straight of nothing but football talk! That's outrageous. The madness has got to stop.

I can no longer consider myself a fan of any sport. I never watch a game, I'm not interested, I don't care. However, there was a time when I loved sports. In high school I spent my Sunday afternoons watching pro football, and Saturday afternoons were for college ball. Summers were spent watching baseball and trading their cards. I could talk shop, talk smack, and hold my own with any sports related conversation, excepting basketball which I've always hated.

So I'm not a hater. I dig the athleticism of sports. I can understand the rush of the contest, the competition. I even understand fandom. Work is a perfect place to talk about sports because it isn't too personal, you can be passionate about it as a guy and not feel girly, and there is a new game every week.

But, really, guys, find something else to talk about once in awhile. Surely we, as men, have other interests. Movies? Guys can watch movies. Books? Well, that's not too many, but maybe if it was a book on war or something. Geez, what do these guys do all day besides watch sports? Ok, weekends are booked out for football, and Monday night always has a big game, but what about Tuesday through Friday? What are these guys doing? And why can't they talk about it?

These guys are so obsessed they push their luck and get in trouble. Most companies have an official internet policy that forbids internet usage for personal use. Most companies don't really enforce it. As long as employees aren't doing anything illegal, or that could be seen as harassment, they can't check their personal e-mail or favorite websites. As long as it doesn't interfere with their work load everyone is happy.

Due to a number of incidents where our reps were not doing their work for long stretches, say 30 minutes, because they were surfing rather than making phone calls, we have put a pretty firm grip on our anti-internet policy.

Reps are also not allowed to have their cell phones out, due again to abusive behavior.

Yet Monday night the game started, and the boys lost all common sense. Periodically they started shouting out the score, and various bits of information they could only know by using the internet or from their cell phones.

Honestly, I'm not real hard line on internet usage. I realize the job can be dull, and don’t really care if they flip to a site real quick as long as they are still performing their job duties. But, as a supervisor if I catch them I have to follow punishment guidelines. I literally had to tell these guys that it wasn't very bright to announce information to me that they could only gain via the internet.

And then I had to threaten to write the next person who made such announcement up.

It is so bad, I've had other reps complain to me about it. Non stop sports talk is driving us non sporties crazy.

The funny thing is that I have to take the sports talk. Because when the conversation actually does take a turn, it always ends up with crude sex jokes. Something I certainly can't allow on the floor.

Old Stories, Told Again

Hey, I posted the old story about my company getting raided by the FBI on my blog. So in a bit of scandolous selling outtedness, I'm inviting all readers of the Midnight Cafe Discussions to come and read.

Yeah, my Mom works for the Governor

Some of you already know this, but my Mom has hated her job at Colonial Bank for a long time.

She's been looking for a way out, but she needed the job to keep insurance for herself and my Dad. So, she stuck with the job for 11 years through other people coming and going. Even through moving the entire staff out of the building because of OSHA violations and working out of a double-wide trailer for 2 years with little or no security. Plus, her boss gives the trm "jerk" a new definition.

In any case, my Mom and Dad are good friends with the mayor of Luverne and his wife. His wife is in her late 60s and decided to finally retire from her position on the Voter Registration Board.

Long story short, she told my Mom that she'd recommend her, but that it was a Governor-appointed position.

So, she was recommended back in late June, then had to wait all this time until just a few days ago, she got a letter from Governor Riley appointing her to the Board!

In any case, it's a huge answer to prayers and a really cool thing for my Mom!

"Unforgivable, that's what you are...."

This is something that actually bugs the heck out of me. And it is not because it affects me or hits close to home, just confuses me more than anything.

We in the church hear so much about divorce and remarriage. Most of us have the rules down pat I would assume. That isn't the problem. The problem is when we hear a sermon about it and we are told that divorcing someone for reasons not stated in the Bible, are pretty much unforgivable (At least this is the impression I get.)

Murder, forgivable. Adultery, forgivable. Lying, forgivable. Divorcing someone for the wrong reason and remarrying someone else later, hell-bound.

Okay, I understand if you cheat on your spouse, repent, and change your life, you are good to go. Kill someone, repent, change your habits, then you are forgiven. But preachers say things to the effect that if, for example, a man cheats on his wife and they divorce and the dude gets married years later then hs is living in sin. So, the guy can’t move on?

What if someone is not a Christian, and goes through the whole cheating thing, divorces his wife, marries the chick he was cheating on her with, then find Christ and becomes a Christian... even though he is still living/married to this woman, is he still living in sin?

I can understand if someone is shacking up with someone else, and they get baptized and saved and all that they are doing wrong if they CONTINUE to shack up with the boyfriend/girlfriend. But is a man/woman supposed to divorce their new spouse after getting saved?

Why can’t this be forgiven like th other sins? I have no plans on divorcing, but it just bothers me a bit, the unforgivable impression I get...

Adventures in Cooking

I have my nose in a glass of milk. Actually, I don't anymore as it would be difficult to type whilst holding a glass of milk to my face, but lets pretend for the sake of present-tense storytelling. So, I have a glass of milk pressed to my face, tilted just so, and my nose placed therein.

Why?

Because I decided to cook Indian food tonight. With hot peppers. I learned from Food Network that you can cut down on the heat in your food by scraping out the innards of the hot pepper, and just using the outsides. I used my fingers to scrape out the peppers. No gloves. And I didn't wash my hands.

I tried a little bit of the pepper to make sure it wasn't too hot for say, Luke, to eat. It was. But not too bad, not much worse than hot Mexican food. I cut down on the amount of hot pepper in the recipe.

Also essential to the plot of this story is my drippy allergy-ridden nose. It dripped. I swiped. I sniffed. The burning started. I tried to wipe it off and rubbed it in. Washing didn't help, not even with dish detergent.

So I remembered that I heard somewhere that milk helps take the burn out of hot food.

So here I am with my nose in a glass of milk, tears streaming down my face. Josh is trying not to laugh at me in my pain. He is also annoyed that now he is stuck making dinner. The pain is gone as long as I keep my nose in the milk. I slowly wean myself from the glass, taking my nose out for a few seconds at a time and then plunging gratefully back into the cold milk.

Josh asks if I still want to put hot peppers into the food.

Who, indeed, is 'Swollen'?

Last night was a scary moment in my life... I prayed alot, but the prayers were not answered according to my prefered time-line...

I am following Larissa home after church. We get to a point where this thug-ish Chevy Avalanche is behind Larissa and in front of me.

I feel as if the avalanche is following my wife too closely (which it was) so, thinking that some how this will teach this driver a lesson, I get behind the chevy in a very Josh Sipper-esque way... thought, Josh does it even when not angry...

A dog walks out in front of Larissa. She slows down, but doesnt screech to a halt... but, the chevy was way too close to larissa and had to brake hard... likewise, I had to brake hard. My tires locked, schreeched, and i swerved hitting the back drivers side of the truck with my front passenger side...

No big deal, this is what insurance is for, no one is hurt, both cars are VERY driveable... so, like I am supposed to, I call the police. It is my fault clearly and without a police report, my insurance company will not cover the chevy, and would probably drop me.

This black girl gets out and says "You callin the poe-lees?"
"yes..." I say matter-of-factly
"Dont call the poe-lees see... i aint got my drivers license." My heart sinks a bit...
"It is my fault, if I dont call the police, my insurance company wont repair your car."
"It aint my car either..."

Okay, so things are getting wierd... I go back to my car, write down the tag number and actually pray that she will take off. Then I can report it to the cops... She gets out of her truck (23 inch chrome wheels, all pimped out) and is on the phone... with, who I assume to be, the owner of the car. Who I also assume to be a very mean, angry, alrge back man who is her boyfriend.

She walks behind my car and tells the person on the phone my tag number... then she comes to my window and tells ME that she took MY tag down in case I run off...

ME RUN OFF??? I have good insurance! I have my license. It is just a fender bender, I dont want some French Connection, Popeye Doyle, chase through the city thing for this, geez...

20 minutes have passed... I call the cops again and tell them that I dont know what is going to happen because the lady I hit is nervous and claims to not have her drivers license...

then an Allero shows up...

Her comes the thug, with 3 other girls behind him... his arms are moving all over the place, walking straight to my door...

"What the MF did you MF do to my MF truck you MF??? I put my MF soul into that MF truck! I MF love that MF truck..." and so on, and so forth...

I had the phone in my lap, 911 had been calledm truck in drive ready to take off... I tried to calm the MF man down by saying "Hey man, I have insurance, it will take care of the whole thing! thats what insurance is for, its cool!"

"Yeah, well you better have GOOD MF insurance MF-er"

"it is, it is Alfa" which calms him down greatly, in fact, he goes on to say that "yeah, Alfa is good MF insurance..."

30 minutes later, we are all talking. I got him to calm down by asking him questions about his truck, rims, and his "system" which he took great pride in talking about.

45 minutes later, the cops show up... Montgomery cops are slow, and refuse to smile. Everything is UNfunny to them. I officially hate them right now... 3rd shift ones anyway.

Bottom line, i was at fault, and i took care of everything today, got 2 quotes on my truck, and i guess his insurance company will be in contact with mine.

If you do not have car insurance, GET IT... Alfa took care of me soooooo well. I LOVE alfa. They really made me almost glad I got in a wreck. Alfa may be one of the more expensive ones (I really dont know that they are, but people tell me they are, ours isnt high though) but they took very good care of me... of course my adjuster has kids that go to school where I work...

and oh yeah, keep 3 car lengths behind the car in front of you josh...

My biggest fear of the whole ordeal is if it was my wife in my position, by herself, getting cursed out, scared to death... that scares me more than anything...

Vote for me!

I know I know I've been gone for a while. Now I show up and want your help. But think of the history you will be making...

Anyway I entered a contest to win an iPod Nano. I need votes. So tell your friends to vote for me as well...Please I'm begging.

Vote now!

Thanks

Why...

When I got to Faulkner I had never met so many people that I felt had been handed their faith on a silver platter. I was shocked.

The question very seldom was raised without controversy and censure that you must be a sinner to even question if there is a God.
I spent the better half of my life into the early 90’s questioning this idea of God. At FU it was blasphemous to even think it. I have a theory as to why this was the case and it revolves around people not having an answer for “why” they believe what they believe.

It’s difficult to explain an abstract against someone who places no credit in the Bible.

In discussing this topic Sunday Jules told me that her faith was more solid before I started asking her why she believed what she believed. Admittedly, her faith was built on her grandparents and parents expectations and indoctrination to the subject.

So class, tell me why do you believe in God? Your answer can not include because I believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, because Christ died for me or because he lives in my heart.

I just want to know if there was an experience or something else that has guided you to your own faith.

I'm Afraid, So...

Mullins, you were right when you said I suffer from some sort of "fear" of things in life.

I was just talking to Rachel about how and why I do things like I do. I think about this quite a bit.

First of all, I'm a monstrous creature of routine. If my routine is messed with, I get pretty stressed-out. So, I set up numerous conditions to keep a routine running. I'm learning to get past this, but it's really hard.

Second, I'm afraid of myself. Do you know what I mean? I just fear my weaknesses and try to counter them by, again, setting up boundaries.

I could probably go on all day expounding upon what a weirdo I am, but I'll just say this instead.

I'm working on it.

I have used the phrase, "It's a terrible thing to live your life in fear" for years now. Here I am, doing it myself. Creating fears to counter fears.

Silly, is it not?

March 12-20, last call and...

Why no one realized until now, me included, that there is no week of March 12-20 is beyond me. That’s eight days beginning Sunday rolling through Monday.

Anyway, March 11-19 Sat through following Sun should still work I guess.
RECONFIRM SCHEDULES, AGAIN!!!

The Mullins clan will most likely leave Thursday evening the 15th, and hang out until Sunday. If we can swing it we’ll try and tack on an extra day, who knows…

If you’re traveling you’re on your own to find a bed roll, I guess we all know that and mostly have it sorted out really.

Lets lock in this week once and for all over the weekend.

Sipper the picture is the fabled bus from the early Grateful Dead Acid Tests lore, it’s name is Further now you know its name and what it looks like, you’re almost a fan…

Bad Blog, but I need my friends honesty here...

Okay, simple...
I am going to post a email thread.
I am feeling very hurt right now, and will explain after the thread:

To preface, a teacher had a problem. I could not VNC into her computer because the password had changed (VNC is a program used to control peoples computers remotely).

I needed the password changed without me having to walk half a mile to do it myself.

so, I sent these instructions:

ok, i need your help big time here, and i know you can do it...

look on your screen, near your clock in the lower right hand corner...

you will see a little icon that is white, and it will look like it has the letters V N C on it...

put your mouse on top of this icon, press your RIGHT mouse button one time, and go to PROPERTIES

find a field that says PASSWORD or a button that says "set password"

make the password 1, thats right, just the number 1

you may have to type it in two fields if another one says "retype password"

press ok and let me know when you have done this...

may sound hard, but is very easy

ok, to which she replies:


I do not like to be talked down to; I am not an idiot just not as computer savvy as you are. I asked for your help because I thought that was your job!

Now guys, I love you all. And if I were being belitting, I would tell you. But I know, in my christian heart, that when I wrote that email, IN NO WAY was I trying to belittle here...

Here was my responce:

In no WAY was I trying to talk down to you!
I would never do that to anyon and if what I said appeared to be that way I apologize.

I tried to make my last email as easy as possible to read and understand. I can understand how you may think that the first line "I need your help big time here, and I know you can do it..." may have been taken as me talking down to you, but it was honestly meant in no way to belittle you at all.

Perhaps my last line: "may sound hard, but is very easy" sounded belittling, but it was not intended to be at all.

In my experience here, most teachers need encouragement to do tasks that they are not used to doing. Doing things that aren't in their realm of expertise can be daunting to most of them. When I offer instructions, I try to be as encouraging as possible.

I am sorry you took my tone to be something that it was not.

..women... geez...


do i HAVE to be the bigger man and go down there and apologize in PERSON??? SHE JUDGED MY HEART AND WAS WRONG!!!

Gathering of the Tribes 2006

Spring Break: March 12-20
Or some time there within seems to be the magic date so far.

Does anyone have a problem with this week? We can sort out specific dates later.

Brew run it past Amy & work, someone call Chuck and let him know we’re at least planning this, Jamison plan slacking a few more days, Jules check the bank calendar and bring home some extra money, Sipp get Luke ready for two wild playmates (same for Alexandria) them Mullins’ boys is a comin’, Everyone get ready for Stubbs Gone Wild!

Bang, Bang, knock a little louder honey. BANG, BANG!

A wave of boredom hit me yesterday so I decided to try something new. Before I knew it I was flinging hot lead into a silhouette of my mortal enemy.

All over town there are ads for a place called Coal Creek Armory and their indoor firing range. This place is hailed as a shop for beginners and military / police specialists alike. I walked in and looked around until someone asked what I needed. I talked about how long its been since I’ve shot a guy of any type, aside from killing hookers which I only did once with a firearm, and how I’d thought I might like to try it again.

I don’t really have a reason why I’d like to try it; I guess I was hoping for a rush or something. I finally got to the right counter, filled out my paperwork, got my box of 50 bullets, eye / ear protection and chose my gun, a Bresa .380 22 cal. This gun is surly not the hand cannon of Dirty Harry, in fact it was really light and easy to handle. I didn’t feel like I was holding a real gun.

I was lead into the range shown how to load the gun, I’ve seen my dad’s gun and watched enough movies that this wasn’t news but I totally appreciated the refresher. After a few more pointers I was left to my own deadly devices.

The guy helping me set the target at 3ft. My first seven rounds were all center kills. Reloaded, my next seven were within four inches of each other, all kills. At 15 feet I started to spread my hits a bit more. All were within the right shoulder, my target area. Feeling that I had done alright I rolled my target to 35 feet and aimed for the head. Five of my seven hit in the area if not killing the guy I would have at least given him a wonderful headache and one pierced ear.

I changed to a fresh target and finished off the rest of my rounds with moderate satisfaction.

If you’ve never shot a gun I’d recommend it if for no other reason than to garner its respect. Walking into the range the smell was something else, a warm metallic aroma chased by exploded gun powder gave me a feeling and since of excitement as I prepped to squeeze off my first few rounds.

It was a fun experience and I’m very glad that I spent the time and money, around 30 bucks to try something new. Maybe when I try it next time I’ll be able to leave the range with a propellant created Martin Riggs smiley face.

The Shinning

Check out this trailer for Stanley Kubrick's The Shining. It looks like a really upbeat film.

Ok, so really it is a nice editing job to make what is one of the great suspense/horror films of all time look like one of those uplifting chick flicks.

Ok, Ok, I intentionally misspelled the title to make a Simpsons reference.

Well it’s about that time.

The Brewster clan is stateside and somewhat settled. Everyone else is married and has a traveling partner if not several smaller companions as well. And for the moment we’re all gainfully employed enough for some sort of travel.

It’s time for a homecoming as the Baptists like to say.

Motions are already on the floor for a spring or summer reunion.Here is the short list of things to consider.

Location…Montgomery is where it all began and where ½ half of our extended family lives so it’s easy to shack up together and retread old stomping grounds. But other locations should be considered for points of interest and travel needs.

Time…The spring / summer time frame works for planning and can accommodate work and schooling schedules long with the hopes that the weather will be pleasant if not exceptionally humid.The floor is now open for discussion. 3-day, 4-day???

Jung - Myers-Briggs

Speaking of dreams and personalities, I took a Jung - Myers-Briggs test today...

Back in the day, it was sort of a quick test and an alternative to a head shrink.

Does htis describe me?

slightly expressed extrovert
slightly expressed intuitive personality
slightly expressed thinking personality
slightly expressed judging personality

I shrug my shoulders and say "okay...."