Monday, November 07, 2005

The last of the interviews...

I think I have decided that I no longer want to go on a job interview as long as I live.

I don't know why I still seek them out and why I look forward to them. When I get done with them, I feel either:
1) Bored
2) Humiliated
3) Stupid
4) All of the above

I had one today. It was sort of spur of the moment. A gal at church has a dad who works for the toll bridge company (Not working a booth, state-wide home office is 2 miles from my house). I mentioned to her that I have applied for 2 or 3 jobs there and never got an interview. A few days later, she emails me and tells me to forward my resume to her dad. And there ya go, I had an interview today.

It started out okay. The usual call-me-in-10-minutes late routine. I think they do that just to see if you will get mad at them. And I hate walking in all dressed up. Everyone looks at you; they KNOW you are there for an interview. ARG! I HATE IT! So we sit down at a big table with who I assume to be a fellow HR employee who says 10 words the whole interview.

The gal interviewing me was a very nice, very slim, very attractive black lady who was certainly not a day over 26. The interview went very well until she got to a section that she described as "Standard HR questions." which typically dealt with morals and job performance scenarios.

These questions were normal at first; “What give you satisfaction in life?”, “If you work with someone who is stealing from the company, what do you do?” What aspect of your job are you most successful at?”, etc. I hate these questions too, but the worst is yet to come.

I was asked “What do you think about when you are alone?” Believe me, the first thing to pop into my head was “You don’t wanna know.” But this sweet gal turned into a professional, straight faced rock when these questions started rolling. I froze and said after about 30 seconds of thinking; “What’s for dinner…?” No smile.

The other bad question was “If you have a negative day at work, how do you get rid of the negativity?”… Again, I freeze and say “Go home, let it stew, then wash it off in the shower…” I kid you not, no smile.

At least in this interview, I did not get bored. Most companies will give you a 10 minutes description about how great their company is, how long they have been around, and all the wonderful things they do. It is at this point in the interview that my eyes glaze over and I toss in a few nods and maybe the occasional raised-eyebrows with the finger-to-mouth. They spared me this torture in this interview.
Anyway, I’ve decided never to go to another interview again, unless it is me interviewing someone. I think I want to work for myself. Help me think.


Brewster said...

One of the hated things about my job is I have to interview folks. Let me tell you the other side isn't any fun either.

We have some real nutty HR questions too that drive me nuts. That lady has probably given those questions a million times and so every answer is just the same. Like somebody walking over to me and callig me "punky"

The worst part of interviewing is actually making a decision about the person. How am I supposed to know that person X will be a good employee based on his/her response to

"if you were a dougnut, what kind of dougnut would you be?"

bigsip said...

Man, I kind of like interviews. If you ever do another interview, Jamison, we'll pull a stunt like in Good Will Hunting and I'll go for you!

I think the reason I like them though is that I have never not gotten a job after an interview.

I got out of school, went into the Air Force, had a phone interview with Lockheed and was hired immediately upon separation, then got hooked up with the Anteon interview and walked in 2 weeks later. A breeze!

I will say that I've been in the right place at the right time every time thus far. Had I not been in the military at Ft Gordon, I would neever have been assigned to the special mission that gave me the experience needed to be hired by LM.

Had I not been friends with Jamison and Larissa and had background with the largest defense contractor in the world (LM), I'd have never gotten a look from Anteon.

It's funny how things work together that way.

But, I'd rather not have to go through another one either and I don't really want to conduct one. Interviews are bad, Rerun!

bigsip said...

Jamison, my personal opinion is that you need to get as far away from technology as possible.

Unfortunately, that's hard to do these days and make a decent living.

I've always thought you should open a business of some sort, but owning your own business is usually an all-consuming sort of thing. It's especially bad in restaurants and retail.

If you own a business where you provide a service, though, you're more likely to have some balance with it.

My Dad has always been able to make his own hours and stick to them fairly well. He also abhors technology.

Maybe if you start using your artistic skills on the side and slowly build it up or find some sort of service and go with that.

I'll pray for you, my friend. I know how it can be with unfulfilling work sometimes.

Jamison said...

Thanks... i am fine where I am now... I think I just want a change. Doing the same thing for a different type of company. Maybe then I can see other opportunities within that new comany and move away from tech.

As horrible as this may sound, I will say it anyway: I like my job alot, but right now, its only drawback is the pay. Id like to have a kid soon and would like for my wife to work less ofter that, so more pay would be a bit more comforting to me. But if I knew id never have a child, id be fat, dumb, and happy right where I am now.

mullinz8 said...

I did a phone interview with someone at Great American Country (a new Scripps purchase) recently and it was all those retarded HR questions. I was really disappointed that everything was so sterile during the interview. I mean what a waste.

I know the interviewer has pressure on them to bring someone in who is qualified, under budget and somewhat quickly but is there nothing better to ask. I think I would ask the most absurd questions just to see how people think.

Jamison… You are a talented artist and have a passion for fishing. I can vividly remember the rhino you drew for the FU magazine, it was awesome! Why don’t you consider mixing the two? There is a huge number of hunters and fishermen that love outdoor art. If you can capture the motion and energy of a fish being pulled through and out of the water in pencil you could do rather well.

Again here is the thing, you’re wife is making good money you two can afford for you to take some time and get established. I’m saying you should walk out of your job right now but go buy some good quality paper and pencils and try your hand at drawing what’s around you. Pull some pics off google and draw those or better yet borrow a mounted fish to sketch. If in three months you like what you’re doing get a copying house to make a few high quality prints made, number & sign them and ebay the suckers. You don’t need frames and mattes and that crap unless you want to watch them collect dust.

Do this and then draw me my freaking rhino in a tux.

bigsip said...

I know what you mean. There's that pull of responsibility.

I let it stress me for a little while, but then I just realized it wasn't doing us any good for me to stress over it.

When Rachel wanted to have a baby, I tried for a couple of weeks to convince her that we needed to wait another year so we'd be married five years before we had a child (as planned).

The more I tried to convince her, the more I became convinced it was time to have a child.

The natural tendency is to say, "We'll have a child when everything's just right." But, it is never "just right", no matter your financial, philosophical, or whatever state.

My advice is to pray about it. If y'all want a baby and ask God to provide, trust me, He will. He will provide a way for y'all to have the family you want and will provide a way for y'all to bring that child up in His ways.

We can all pray about it, man. You're not alone.

Jamison said...

I dunno... maybe I just want to try my hand at something different, ya know?

Here is the depressing part of it all: My job has alot of technical aspects to it. To the people here, I am a genius. But every job like mine is different and requires different knowledge. I go to these interviews thinking "I manage 300 computers, 7 servers, a gig-speed network, and over 1,000 users... i am the man!" then they start asking me technical questions regaurding the way THEY do things and I turn into a blubbering idoit "Uhhhh... Me Like AOL..."

I wanna just switch jobs with, say, Josh, or Brew, just to DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT...

I think of all my friends, Mullins is the one destined to be the most successful. He has more heart and desire than most of us....

mullinz8 said...

Drive is something that I do have. I’m hoping and praying that I can switch job at Scripps come the new year because it would boost my income and at least for the first little while give me enough extra cash to make some investments so that I could better actualize that drive and restlessness. If nothing else I do try and with so many irons in the fire one is bound to spark.

Speaking of trying new things did any of you yahoos read the Halloween story I wrote and sent to you the other day?

Diana said...

I'm thinking about not taking birth control anymore and leaving things up to God. My feeling is Charlie and I will never be able to afford kids.

bigsip said...

Whoa, Di!

Wait till you graduate, girl! You might be able to make it through with kids, but it would be EXTREMELY difficult!

Rachel stays at home with Luke and I still couldn't keep up with PhD work. I doubt Charlie could stay at home while you finish.

Finish school! PLEASE!!!

bigsip said...

I read the story, Mullins.

It was cute! You can tell you love your boys.

bigsip said...

Speaking of writing and drive...

I haven't been submitting my book for publication for some time now.

I need badly to get back into the groove of doing that. I just get lost in more writing and don't get around to it.

I have one lead on something, though. There are some guys I'll be talking to soon who need a script written for an espionage, role-playing game. They were intereste in me because of my intel experiences.

Hopefully, something will come of it.

Jamison said...

Di, I dont have a kid, but I can say that what you are thinking of doing sounds very unplanned... and even though I don't have a child, I can tell you that it isn't one of those things where you just say "oh, what the heck, lets give it a try."

Wouldn't Stubbs rather have you done with school? Once you have a kid and try to go back to finish up, it'll be much harder on you. Wouldnt your child rather have a mom who isnt breast feeding and studying at the same time? Wouldn't YOU rather have the education under your belt so that when you child goes off to school you can go find a job teaching to help out the household income?

Do what you like, but please think and don't rush into having kids. God gave man the ability to create drugs that will prevent women from having babies like rabbits. God has also allowed women to get preggy even while on birth control. By getting off birth control, you arent making things easier for God, He can make you preggy anytime He wants.

On a similar note, i am going to stop wearing my seat belt when I drive. The way I figure it, if God thinks it is my time to get used to living in a wheelchair, so be it :^)

Jamison said...

SWEET! A video game writer? Thats so cool.. maybe I can get Larissa to be a video game fashion designer! I mean, hey, you cant have naked people all over the place, right?

thats cool Sip!

bigsip said...

Yeah, but I still haven't heard back yet. Hopefully they'll contact me soon.

mullinz8 said...


How about this God wouldn’t want you stay in school if didn’t give you the ability to stay in.

I left school without a degree because this is one field where talent can exceed the sheep skin. I’ve busted my ass to get where I am because I don’t have a degree and I promise you I am a rare creature in this business because of that fact. If you want to teach you have to have a degree. You are young and have the ability to go to school without anything holding you back. Capitalize on the moment while you can.

Jamison is right, feeding a kid while cramming for finals is not the route you want.
Once you have the degree you will have endless opportunities to work and discover new things that otherwise you wouldn’t get without it.

On a practical side consider the money. Blockbusters and Kinko’s do not do a great job supporting the financial dreams of the future family. You’re most likely not going to break the 100K mark teaching in public schools but you’ll get a lot closer than basic retail and customer service. You’re also more likely to get better health care through a school than the aforementioned establishments. Trust me you want the best care you can get!!!

Caleb has asthma, this season to help fight getting RSV he’s getting a shot called Synergis. One shot costs over $800 bucks. He has to get two, that’s $1600! Every 28 to 30 days until the cold and flu season are over in six months! We pay a $10 co-pay and walk out the door. Our most expensive meds are never over $40.

You are young enough to finish school, work a few years and then pop out kids and be strong and healthy enough to play with them without getting winded.

I will no longer tell you cute stories about my boys, Chuck, who never does, isn’t allowed to do so anymore, neither is Rachel. The smell of baby vomit is awful and doesn’t go away with soap and water. Three Am feedings are a drag. Isaac freaked out last night because I told him to pick up french fries off the floor. The ability to just run out the door never happens again, toys are constantly underfoot.

Before you do anything ask everyone you know who has a kid about their experience going to school now. Listen to how many have parents watching their kids. I promise you a lot of those parents feel shafted to watch little Sally all freaking day but have no way of saying so.

If you didn’t get what I’m talking about KEEP TAKING THE PILL (or what ever) AND STAY IN SCHOOL!!!

Jamison said...

good advice... I think all folks who have kids love them to no end. However, people rarely tell their friends the crap stories and the not-fun stories. You ussually hear the cute, funny, my-child-is-an-angle story. I mean, who wants to hear bad stories anyway!

Kids are for real, they arent like a dog where you can give to a shelter if it keeps pooping on teh floor. Heed the wise mullins advice.

bigsip said...

We love you, Di. Please don't take these exhortations the wrong way. We know you're smart and committed and will someday make a fantastic Mommy!

We are just trying to hep by sharing our own stories and experiences. Like I said, when Luke came along, school was pretty much over, at least for now.

Not to brag, but I make good money, can go to school FREE with work and GI Bill paying and have a wife who stays at home with our child, and I still don't have the time and means to go back, even online!

We don't mean to flip-out or anything, we're just concerned and want you to know what we KNOW. Love you, Di.

mullinz8 said...

Sipper makes good money, here is the other side. I make ok money by some standards and Jules makes about 2/5ths less than I do and we make crap! Having money doesn’t mean you’re not going to be a good parent but money does have the ability to ensure you’re getting really good child care because you both have to work.

Lets pretend for a minute ~~~~ Ok so you get a job doing something that’s fun and get pregnant which results in smiles all around. The plan is to work as long as you can and then pop out baby and be back at work in six weeks as per the family medical leave act. Stubbs works the whole time getting basic insurance but it only covers 50% of your meds. At about five months you’ve picked up gestational diabetes and are required to handle daily injections of insulin, $150 per vial. No worries. At seven and half months you develop pre-eclampsia and are required to go on bed rest until you’re at term, not to mention you’ve got three new meds to take. So now you have to wait six weeks before you can have the kid on one income. As you’re having the kid you realize that your six weeks are up and done. You have to go back to work or quit. Which means that you’ve got an undetermined amount of time on one income, that is until you realize that Stubbs has got to get a second job to keep things afloat. This translates into 18 hour days for your loving husband and you watching baby basically as a single parent because the new daddy is manager and is always on call and gets home to sleep five hours before getting up to go back to his double shift work.

Oh by the way this is a true story. When Isaac was born I had to pick up a second job. Jules had some family help but she was basically on her own for day to day stuff. He was also four weeks early which chewed her leave up [pretty bad considering he was in NICU for a week after that. After one week at home she was supposed to go back to work. For Caleb Jules was on bed rest early and was still early, again taking time in NICU because of a severe stomach infection. Hearing the term “excreting blood” during your child’s first couple of day does not bode well on the working father. Thank Heavens Jules work was still giving us a portion of her pay while she was out because of how long she had worked there.

By the way the POV from the dad working two shifts to support the baby he never gets to see and the wife he misses terribly really sucks…

Diana you are so smart and have such a passion for these little kids you tell us about. Don’t rush into anything. Take the Braly path allowing your husband to fly through the house with naked abandon. Or the Brewster route seeking out opportunities to study abroad when they come your way.

I don’t want this to be a barrage of condemnation but rather a rounded assessment of what it’s about. Undoubtedly you’ll be a good mother someday, it’s important that you can realize now that you need to be happy and fulfilled as a women and then as a mother too.

Jamison said...

I havent flown through the air naked in a while... im getting a new digital camera in a few days... Ill have to try it out and share

bigsip said...

When're you getting the new TV!?!?!? I wanna see that!

Diana said...

I hear ya. I'm not upset. Geez, I'm not that sensitive.
But, let me get one thing straight with you right now, having a baby doesn't mean I'm going to quit school. Believe me, I'm very determined. Having a child wouldn't stop me. It may make it more difficult on me, but isn't having a child worth that??? I mean, Charlie's not getting any younger. j/k
Take a chill pill, guys, I'm not going to do anything dumb.
I love all of my big brothers, but sheesh. What am I? 5?

tnmommieof2 said...

i think you should stay in school as well....although the statement that has always bothered me is

"we'll wait till we can afford kids

planning for kids is one thing, and that is very smart. but putting it off till you can afford them, well, then you'll more than likely never have them..unless you win the

Diana said...

Besides, I just said I'm thinking about it. I haven't made any ovulating charts yet. Yell at me then. :)

Diana said...

Yeah, seriosly, guys. I'm going to be a teacher. I agree with Jules. If I want to wait until I can afford kids, I might as well get my tubes tied now.
But nothing's going to make me quit school.
So nobody has anything to worry about.

bigsip said...

Whoa, sister!

You really value Rachel's opinion. Talk to her about it. Trust me, She'll give it to you straight.

Whatever decision y'all make, we're all here for y'all in what capacity we can be. We love y'all and want all the happiness in the world for you!

Diana said...

You know, lots of people told me not to get married before I finished college either.

Let this be a lesson. Never tell Diana not to do something. It only makes her want to do it more. :)

Diana said...

Which is why I'm so determined to finish college. Because once upon a time someone said I wouldn't.

Diana said...

Let's pretend more though. Chances are I won't get pregnant right away. Let's say I get pregnant in March. That means I have the baby in Decemeber of 2006. That means I only have one semester of school left. And I don't actually go to class that last semester, that would be my internship. And we have Charlie's parents to help, too.

I'm probably not going to, nor was I going to. I get like this sometimes and then a big dose of reality hits me.

I was stopped at a stoplight on my way home the other day and I looked over and there was a Mom singing really loudly with all of her kids to something on the radio. She looked over at me and smiled as if to say "this is what life is all about."

Jamison said...

Sip, i got the TV, yall come over sometime.

Brewster said...

I say go for it Diana.

Certainly you're going to think about it, and should weigh the pros and cons.

Why do you want to have a child right now? Are there real concerns about charlie's age? Physically men can have children well into middle age. Or is it a concern that he will be an old man by the time your youngest grows up? Certainly that's a legitimate concern.

As far as school and things, having a child will make that more difficult, but it is still very doable. If you really want both you can make time.

Like you said you're almost done with school, so it may not be as big a burden.

It aint like the child rearing is easier out of school when you have a full time teaching job.

What are the post grad plans? How is the market for school teachers in your area? You've mentioned moving to Montgomery, how is that field?

What will Charlie do? What kind of insurance does Kinkos have? Will it carry your child?

Man, ask Mullins if he'd do it all over again. Did he have some rough times? Sure. Would he trade hid children to have it a little easier, heck no.

The question is really why do you want a child now vs. what benefits are there to waiting.

bigsip said...

You also have to ask if it's the responsible thing to do for you, Charlie, and the baby that will be born.

The work it takes to raise a child is far outside the bounds of anything you've ever done. You'll never be prepared for that, as we never were.

But, you can make sure that you're settled, have a regular budget, and have adequate medical coverage. The less you have to be concerned about after the baby's born, the more focused on the child you can be.

Does PPD run in your family? That's another thing to consider. You don't want any extra stressors pulling you down.

We all sound like downers, but we know how much there is to consider. It's seemingly infinite!

Diana said...

Thank you, Mat. That's all I'm saying. There are many different concerns such as what you mentioned. I mean, everyone's situation is different. For all you know the last time I went to the gynecologist she told me if I don't have kids in the next two years I will never be able to. That didn't happen but everyone has there own reasons for making decisions.

While I appreciate everyone's advice, everyone's looking at it from there own experiences and not from my eyes. I'm especially hurt that y'all are underestimating me. I have something to prove to a lot of people, so there’s really no way I’m going to not finish school.

It's nice and all that Rachel's glad she waited because now she can stay home and not worry about money, but there will probably never ever be a time that I won’t worry about money. Their situation is completely different from mine. Even when I get out of school I’ll not be making much more than what Charlie and I are making now, and I’ll have to support all of us. Also, Charlie has already told me that, if there's a baby, he'll be the one to get up with it. I can not function on less than 8 hours sleep; he usually gets about 5 anyway.

I really appreciate that Brewster has acknowledged that I’m not a big fat dummy and that I haven’t just waken up to say, hey, let’s have a kid! I’m mean, I’ve already thought about a lot of things.

I’m probably not going to now, though, so just chill. Charlie and I have talked a lot about it and we’ll probably wait for at least another year. And even then we’re not really going to try; we’re just not going to prevent it.

Jamison said...

Looked to me to be nothing more than friends giving advice to another friend. Sometimes friends tell us things that the other may not want to hear.

Perhaps on the offset, seeing the comment "I'm thinking about not taking birth control anymore and leaving things up to God." sounded a bit off-the-cuff and unthought out.

Even thouse without kids here know that having a kid isn't something you just toss your hands up in the air up about and say "What the heck! Lets do it!"

While that isnt what you decided, having known NO background info of your comment forced your dearest friends to throw some wisdom your way. Im sure none of us meant to belittle you.

Diana said...

Oh, I don't think you were belittling me at all. However, I do feel hurt that everyone assumed that if I had a child I would just quit school. I can see how you would say that my randomly saying it may have sounded a little unthought out. I'm just saying have a little more faith in me.

Diana said...

The whole reason I mentioned it is because the blog began with Jamison wanting kids and Josh saying that God would provide a way.
I'm not mad at you or anything, I don't feel wronged. Next time, maybe ask more questions before you assume and give out advice. I don't mind advice if you get all of the infomation first.

Diana said...

I love you all and I know you meant well.

Brewster said...

Don't mind them, Diana. They just get overly excited.

Having a baby is a very personal choice. Have a bundle if you want. Obviously it is a big decision and makes a huge impact on your life, but I believe whole heartedly that you can have a child and still manage your life successfully.

bigsip said...

Truly, it's your choice.

We were just surprised by the suddenness of the comment.

I never thought you wouldn't finish school. Truthfully, I just was trying to express how difficult it would be for you and Charlie with work, school, baby, and marriage.

It's much harder than people think. But, I know it can be done and I know you could do it. We just all felt the need to make sure you knew what you were doing if you decided to take the plunge.

We all hope the best for y'all and love you.

bigsip said...

Brew, if y'all decided to get pregnent before Amy finished school, we'd go ballistic, too!

I'd love to see that debate.

Brewster said...

Funny, Sip, because we're begining to have that talk a lot. We're both getting older and we're trying to figure out when a good time for babies is. And of course there is never a good time for babies.

I know you guys wish the best for Diana. And if no one had thrown down warnings, I would have. I was just balancing all the 'don't have a baby now' warnings witha little 'hey you can do it' vibe.

bigsip said...


OK, everybody have babies. It's true. You can always make it work. It might not be easy or low-stress, but if the love is there, you will make it.

I know the love is there with all of us, so I'm not particularly worried about stuff from a relationship POV. I guess my biggest concern was that having a baby is something you can't prepare for and can't understand till you have one.

That whole line of thinking used to royally piss me off until we had Luke and I finally understood what they meant. It's a labor of love having a child, but it's still a labor (as in HARD WORK, DILIGENCE, and PATIENCE).

These terms take on a whole new meaning after you have kids. But, if you have the heart for it, no worries. I know you all have the heart for it, my friends! If you want it badly enough and are committed to it, go for it!

Some little Brews, Stubbs, and Bralys would be great!

Diana said...

Thank you so much, Sip! It wasn't that I didn't agree with what you were saying, I just wanted everyone to see my perspective on the matter.
Yay to Brewster babies!!!

Diana said...

I love you all and I appreciate how everyone looks out for me!!! :)