Friday, June 24, 2005

"WORLDS LARGEST!!!"

Sorry, I am in a blogging sort of mood right now...

Have you ever noticed (at least here in the south east portion of America) how every fireworks store is the "Worlds Largest"?

How is this possible?

And what's scarier, is that they all tend to be named after a "Crazy" person... Crazy people and gun powder? In the worlds largest?

Whats funnier is that I've seen many in Georgia that are a combonation gas station... Yikes!

Is the term "Worlds Largest" up for grabs by anyone regaurding anything with no legal repercussions?

No lie, back home there was a water slide up on lookout mountain somewhere (I highly doubt it is still there). It was not a water park, it was just a big pool with a pretty good sized water slide. It's claim: "WORLDS LONGEST WATER SLIDE!"

Friends, I've been to several water parks. You'll find bigger slides on the side of the strip in any white-trash, tourist-trap town in florida (And there are lots of those).

Anyway, just some perceptions by Jamison; Owner of the worlds fastest growing facial hair...

6 comments:

bigsip said...

I think it's just that folks associate fireworks with excitement and danger and want to feel even more powerful and on the edge when they go to a fireworks store. Gaudy, blatant advertisement as it is, these places want to make sure you know that you will be entering a world of explosions and lights! Visions of insane people with explosive items makes me simultaneously terrified and giddy! I suppose it's the nature of our dangerous, rail-riding, ramp-jumping culture. After all, I come from Luverne, AL...home of the World's Largest Peanut Boil!

JS said...

Elmore county is the worlds largest waste of goverment property. The department of health has no record of my septic tank... of a 10 year old house.

bigsip said...

Apparently, you have the world's largest nonexistent human feces container. A dubious distinction, to be sure.

Mat Brewster said...

We should take them to court for false advertising!

They said they were the worlds largest fireworks stand and so I went there. I spent all my money before I realized that the one in Cookeville was bigger, and that I could have had abetter selection in which to light.

I want a million dollars.

Mat Brewster said...

Oh and no need to apologise for blogging too much. Keep it up. As far as length goes, I don't care. Short, long, whatever. Although I will add I think a good image here and there spruces things up a lot.

bigsip said...

Yeah, we should all sue everyone! I want money, lots and lots of money...I want the pie in the sky! Probably wouldn't get much from a fireworks place, though.