Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Unemployed Blues

My wife having gone off and gotten a job, no matter how temporary, has brought on feelings inside me I didn’t expect. When I was first laid off, Amy was also out of work and out of school. So it was just the two of us, all day in the house. We stared at each other and worried about what we were going to do.

All that time and worry often made us cranky and at each other. We didn’t really have big fights or anything, but there were lots of little annoyances and irritations that would put one of us in the study and the other in the living room.

I kept hoping that Amy would find a job before I did so that I would have a couple of weeks to lay around the house. A little mini vacation before I had to work if you will.

Now that she is at work everyday I feel depressed, lonely and very stressed out.

A good part of this, I believe is that while she was here I put a lot of my energy into making her feel better.

Amy is a natural born worrier. If there isn’t something real to worry about she’ll make it up. I spent much of my time consoling her, encouraging her and pushing her to do different thing to keep her mind off of stressful things. In doing so I gave myself little time to worry.

Now that she is gone, I have a lot more time to worry myself. It’s also a little bit lonely in a house all by myself all day. There is probably a little bit of small man feeling. Like as the man of the house I should be out making the money while she stays home. Her bringing in the paycheck may be bringing on inadequate feelings.

But hey I’m still pulling in a severance check every week so I’m making more money than she is and I’m not doing a stitch of work.

On the work front I do have an interview in about an hour. It is with a Knoxville company (shhh don’t tell Juliana or she’ll get too excited.) Honestly, I’m not all that sure about it. The ad was a little vague in exactly what the job entailed. Customer service with management possibilities it said. But it is a financial company and that makes me think telemarketing and I will not be moving to work for a telemarketing company.

It is worth an interview though.

So there is your random ‘how is Brewster doing’ update.



bigsip said...

Glad you are making some headway on the job horizon, Brew.

It sucks to be laid off. Even though I never had at-home worry time between jobs, I know it's a tough thing.

Just keep pouring energy into looking, sending resumes, and writing.

Blog us, too.

Brewster said...

The interviewed sucked. Well actually the interview went great, but I think the job will suck.

It is a marketing company with some good chances to be promoted. However the guy was a little vague on the actual job. Something about going into the field to talk to other companies and helping them. He was very evasive when it came to exactly what it was about. But when it came to talk salary he said it was all commission. Must be sales and I aint doing sales.

They want me to show up in Knoxville Monday and spend a day with one of their reps.

I think I'll pass

bigsip said...

Sorry, man. Hope you find a better lead soon. We're still praying for you both.

Jamison said...

Yeah, pass...sounds like a job I called about when I had graduated college... the title was something like "associate service" and I am sure the word 'customer' was thrown in there for good measure. When I called them I started to ask about the job, they said "It is a marketing job." "okay.. what about marketing?" "Oh, you would be performing marketing duties on a customer needs basis." "Okay, what kind of duties?" "Oh, your duties would be helping customers on a service oriented basis." ... i eventually hung up because it sounded like AmWay.

mullinz8 said...

I wouldn't touch it either.

If you ever needed a place to crash in this area you've always got squatters rights here. Then again that goes for everyone on list.

I’ve heard people talk about feeling that when they retire. You marry someone because you want to spend all your time together and you love it. Once you get a job or whatever you get accustomed to having time away from your loved one. Many years later once you both retire you’re spending time with a person who is always around without the usually 8 hour break in the day. Many retirees have problems with that.

I love my wife but if we’re together 24/7 for more than a week with nothing else to do we get a bit snippy with each other. Jules will most likely say it only takes me 47 minutes to get snippy, God bless her for dealing with me this long.

Jamison said...

My wife and I have pretty much said from the get-go that if we worked together we would go bonkers.
We can live together, but at our jobs, we turn into different sort of personalities and machine-like. Faces blurr and relationships sort of take a backseat and we know that we would butt heads on a daily basis...

Part of the reason I have never persued a job at her place.

Rachel said...

I've got to disagree about working/living together all the time. I would love to have Josh around all the time- we get along really well.

bigsip said...

We also work together very well.

I think some couples can and some couples can't work together and be together all the time.

Either way, there's nothing wrong with it. Marriages are just different.

Brewster said...

Before I accept that disagreement when was the last time you and Josh spent a whole lot of time togheter just you and him?

I love my wife. Iget a long with her very well. Heck we spent 10 months in france living in a tiny little studio apartment and she only worked like 20 hours a week, if that. The fact we didn't kill each other says a lot.

When Amy and I spend a lot of time together its not that we have major fights, but lots of little arguments.

Like the other day I was on the computer for an hour or two sufing, e-mailig and writing. At some point she came back chatted a bit and said she had a lot of work to do. She left I continued to write.

Turns out she was mad at me. Turns out 'I have work to do' mean I need the computer, please get off.

We didnt yell or throw plates but discussed the matter. I explained that I'm a dumb guy and don't understand subtletly. She explained pretty much all her work was on the computer. Everything was ok.

Lots of that stuff happens. Little arguments or annyances. But they are enough for us to want time apart during the day.

bigsip said...

We spent a week together, day-in, day-out right after Noah was born.

When I went back to work, all I could think of was how much I wanted to be at home with Rachel.

I've had the same thing happen after long vacations and she feels the same way.

If I could find a way to be at home with them all the time, I would.

But, life usually has a way of pulling you away to things you need to do for making a living, helping others, etc.

Brewster said...

You sippers are crazy folk.

bigsip said...

Yeah, we are.