Wednesday, September 13, 2006
My wife having gone off and gotten a job, no matter how temporary, has brought on feelings inside me I didn’t expect. When I was first laid off, Amy was also out of work and out of school. So it was just the two of us, all day in the house. We stared at each other and worried about what we were going to do.
All that time and worry often made us cranky and at each other. We didn’t really have big fights or anything, but there were lots of little annoyances and irritations that would put one of us in the study and the other in the living room.
I kept hoping that Amy would find a job before I did so that I would have a couple of weeks to lay around the house. A little mini vacation before I had to work if you will.
Now that she is at work everyday I feel depressed, lonely and very stressed out.
A good part of this, I believe is that while she was here I put a lot of my energy into making her feel better.
Amy is a natural born worrier. If there isn’t something real to worry about she’ll make it up. I spent much of my time consoling her, encouraging her and pushing her to do different thing to keep her mind off of stressful things. In doing so I gave myself little time to worry.
Now that she is gone, I have a lot more time to worry myself. It’s also a little bit lonely in a house all by myself all day. There is probably a little bit of small man feeling. Like as the man of the house I should be out making the money while she stays home. Her bringing in the paycheck may be bringing on inadequate feelings.
But hey I’m still pulling in a severance check every week so I’m making more money than she is and I’m not doing a stitch of work.
On the work front I do have an interview in about an hour. It is with a Knoxville company (shhh don’t tell Juliana or she’ll get too excited.) Honestly, I’m not all that sure about it. The ad was a little vague in exactly what the job entailed. Customer service with management possibilities it said. But it is a financial company and that makes me think telemarketing and I will not be moving to work for a telemarketing company.
It is worth an interview though.
So there is your random ‘how is Brewster doing’ update.