Monday, August 28, 2006

Where would Jesus pee?

This is the question Mullins and I came up with last night on the phone after I had to call him and rant about an event that happened to me last night.

I had taken one of my rectangular ACPO (American Coalition for Peeing Outside) bumper stickers (That I had custom made and paid about $5.00 each for mind you) and adhered it to magnetic material and cut it out. I then had a magnet that would not ruin my truck's paint.

For the past few days I would put it on my truck, observe some reactions, then take it off when I got to work or where ever, perhaps out of shame. However, Friday had decided to put it on and keep it on; Pee Pride I suppose.

I kept it on my truck all day Friday at work and all day Saturday (though at home) and drove the truck to church Sunday night because I had some stuff in the back to take to Sipper's. Since rain was coming, we parked the truck under an overhang in the back of the church which is a common parking and entering spot for old folks... but please be aware that were were not blocking any walkways or parking spots.

I mentally noted the bumper-magnet as I got out of the truck and went into the church, smiling, wondering how people would react...

Church was over and we hopped in the truck to head to Sipper's home. We got there, unloaded all the junk, and as I walked back to my truck, something was missing... my ACPO bumper sticker/magnet!

Sip and I looked everywhere for it in case it got knocked off as we were moving stuff. No where. I thought my wife took it in to show Sip's wife... nope.

It started to settle in... I was robbed. Robbed of an American Coalition for Peeing Outside bumper sticker. Let me tell you, I have had alot of things happen to me in my life but honestly, this made me angry. Why? Not because some college kid took it. If that were the case (I pray that it was) I would be HAPPY! because he/she probably loved it so much that they put it on their car! Yes! I love it!

But what mad eme angry is that it was LIKELY some old fart who was "offended" by it. So to be like-Jesus they hatefully took it off and trashed it, feeling good about their salvation afterwards. Like they have never used the word "pee" before... Or it was some Vet who didn't like the word "American" with the word "Peeing". May be the same old lady who used to write annonymous letters to Kim H. when her child would cry too loud in church... ah, Won't Jesus be so proud? Or the annonymous old fart who writes letters to the preacher when the sermons are hateful, or the old fart who ran into Dean S.'s van and didn't leave a note and to this day Dean still has no idea who did it... WHY IS MY CHURCH FULL OF A-HOLES???

Seriously, this burnt me up, so on the way home, my wife drove and I sat there trying to convince myself aloud that I LOVED the person who took it. I brought up some lovely old ladies in our church ; Mrs Moody, Mrs Norris, etc and said to my wife "Okay, if these ladies took it and trashed it, whom I love, then i should be sorry for offending them, lesson learned, simple as that, I still love them!" etc...

So I am okay this morning I suppose, but today (Monday) I am going to call the local radio show (The Greg Show) on AM 1170 and rant about this... the show is on from 3 to 6pm I think, I will call sometime in that area... i would record it but I am not going to...

11 comments:

bigsip said...

I still can't believe that someone would steal that, man.

But, I'm glad mine's stuck on my bumper now. I'd like to catch some octagenarian trying to scrape that thing of my chrome bumper.

I'd have to bring out a tire iron for that one!

tnmommieof2 said...

I understand your frustration Jamison...I too have been the victim of a bumper sticker thief.
I had a pro-life sticker on my bumper that simply said, "abortion is forever, get the facts first."
went in to the mall in knoxville
and the sticker was still there.
when i left, the sticker was gone.

i mean, come on...i don't care if you don't agree with my views..but
i paid for that sticker, and it is my right to have whatever views i
choose...oh well...and thanks for the post card btw...it is hanging at my teller station...

bigsip said...

You need to make up a bunch of WWJP bracelets and hand them out at church...

mullinz8 said...

I thought about this too. Maybe it’s a retired man and he thinks it’s really cool and wants to make a dozen more for his group that meets at the building at 7am each Thursday. I can dream can’t I?

A bumper sticker, magnetic or not, is a pretty stupid thing to take if you really think about it. I am just as shocked by the ACPO magnet as I am when I first heard of Jules pro-life sticker getting ripped off her car. Who reads something on another person’s private property and is so enraged that they decide it’s so offensive that it has to be removed and destroyed so that its message doesn’t influence anyone else.

Perhaps I should start removing peoples little ribbons or W stickers. Perhaps we should just enlist something of a police state and ban peoples rear bumper mobile library service all together.

Jamison I will help fund this idea for you. I think we should get your car shrink-wrapped. There are companies that will apply a removable shrink-wrapping on cars for various advertisements. I think we should create a fleet of official ACPO vehicles. I’d like to see the ladies auxiliary try and remove that mother.

It’s odd to think that either before of after the Sermon on the Mount JC to consider when he would have to go pee. Ya figured that if he went before hand he had to do it prior to climbing in front of all those people. I think he went before hand because he knows that once he starts talking the audience is going to be locked into what he says and not leave him along for at least a day or so, which would not leave him anytime to find a loo.

Diana said...

That's so strange. The two worst things you can be in my mind are a. narrow-minded and 2. a hypocrite. (Yes, I did that on purpose) Most of the people in my church would probably laugh at that bumper sticker. I know this is a little extreme over a sticker, and I'm not necessarily saying you should, but have you considered switching?f

Diana said...

Who put the letter f there?

Ryan F. said...

Those non-peers. I'll never understand them. Hey, you should go ready the story on the front page of my blog about the phone call I got from Donahey. You remember that kid, don't you?

Brewster said...

Could it possibly have been one of the kids at church. An FU student perchance.

Did you check area trash cans?

That's totally nuts though. I can see maybe some slight offense, but why steal it?

Brewster said...

Sounds excellent. You'll be seeing the grand canyon of course. It is quite literally breath taking

Anonymous said...

Obviously, those who do not, in fact, pee outside find it necessary to discriminate against those who do!
I shall NEVER understand "those" people!
Peeing outside is such a spiritual ceremony!
Keep on Peeing... whomever you are, put another sticker on your vehicle and proudly stand up for what you believe......

bigsip said...

Thanks, anonymous!

We need dedicated peers in all areas of the world.

Please tell us who you are and where you live. You can be our ACPO Ambassador wherever you are!