Patience. Has anybody ever really had it? I am not a patient person- it's something I need to work on. Right now I am waiting for my second child to be born. Our first was induced at 38 weeks because we lived an hour away from the hospital. But now we live about 2 minutes from the hospital and we're waiting for labor to come on naturally.
About a week and a half ago, my doctor informed me that the baby could come "any time now," as I had started to dilate and the baby's head was engaged. That was at 37 weeks pregnant. So that's 3 weeks of maybe-todays. There's this weird mixture of hope and dread in waiting for labor to start. I'm basically feeling 3 things:
1) I can't wait to meet my son.
2) I want to get this over with and be myself again.
3) This is like being blindfolded and not knowing when you're inevitably going to get beat up. And don't try to tell me labor is not like getting beat up.
But is 3 weeks really that long in the scheme of things? This is the last pregnancy we plan to have. I need to enjoy these last days of having life inside me. It's amazing to feel a little foot or knee move across my belly. It's wonderful to feel when little Noah gets the hiccups and nobody knows but me.
I'm trying to keep myself busy, which is difficult because I don't get around well at this point. I've been instructed to take it easy for over a month now since I started having frequent Braxton-Hicks contractions. There's really only so much knitting and reading one can do! Also I'm constantly on the lookout for signs that labor is coming, and am frequently dissapointed to be wrong. Everyone I see wants to comment on the fact that I haven't had the baby yet. Really?! I hadn't noticed! It doesn't bother me a bit, but it does seem a little silly.
So I'm going to try to get through each day with happy anticipation instead of anxious frustration. Who knows, maybe it'll be today.