Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Ok folks, so here is a thought...

So I write a little smutty story about a sexed up football game. No big deal. The wife, maybe joking, I’m not sure, says that I should do this and make us some money as a semi-erotic writer, maybe full blown (pun) erotic writer.

First I write a few stories that are simple enough to act as a how to seduce and perform certain “acts” to help enhance the overall activity, just for the wife. Somewhere along the line some Christian couple we’re talking to says their sex life is boring and a collection of stories are offered to them. It spices their evenings up a bit, no harm no foul. Somewhere this would cross a line but where? I mean anything that’s given to them is not to illicit an outward response from them but is something they can do for them selves.

No one is supplying pictures or anything, disrespectful and distasteful.

I mean many Christians; couples in general, fall into a routine of sexual patterns. Could a well written book used to encourage couples to explore each other in respectful and highly pleasurable ways not work? I think most married people on earth would have experienced sexual desire in some capacity and might like to know more.

I’m not talking about cheesy gimmick books but something more visceral and sensual that would take people through the process of re-seducing their spouse but for Christian couples. Jules and I have given a book, as a wedding present that we’ve enjoyed reading but there are some chapters that are not covered in our experience, predominantly those on gay relationships. There are other things that are covered that are, shall we say, “useful” utilizing a multitude of body parts, oils, techniques, etc.

I can’t see this as porn because it would be used to enhance the marital exchange by enticing the couple to develop and experience corporal emotions between each other.

Who here doesn’t like good sex and wouldn’t like to get better at it?


bigsip said...

Go for it, dude!

I've seen and read books about this sort of thing. When Rachel and I were doing our premarital counseling, we were given some books on this subject.

I don't know how well they'd market, but it's worth a try.

Just make sure you edit well before sending it to a publisher. You used "illicit" in this log when you meant "elicit" and used "corporal" when I think you meant "corporeal".

Anyway, write something up! Never know where it'll go!

mullinz8 said...

I don’t know if I’m up to it right now but it’s something that I think could be useful.

There would be some elements of illicit contact. I mean you don’t write through steamy foreplay and have your couple ready for the down and dirty and then say, “sometime later our couple went to sleep arm in arm.”

For the whole thing to work you’ve got to get “in there” and show the reader what’s going on. While you’re there I think there are ways that one can take a few moments to give some practical advice about where things are and how they work.

There would also be a need to explain how sexuality fits into biblical guidelines. Once you get into oral and digit based manipulation some people are going to cower in the corner and rebuke you for doing something wrong.

I frankly would tell those folks to bugger off, get laid, and lighten up a bit but there still needs to be a justification people can recognize and connect with to make sure that they feel comfortable doing various acts.

bigsip said...

Some folks will never be cured of sexual mediocrity. They just don't get it.

Since there are no Biblical examples of actual, sexual intercourse being described, there's no way to say that some things are OK.

But, there also is no way to say thy're not, unless you're talking about homosexuality/sodomy, which is strictly forbidden anyway.

So, sex in marriage is free, baby! Convincing people of this is the hardest hurdle to jump.

Jamison said...

your stories were good, but thinking back on them, they were only erotic to me as a college kid.
but thats just me.

Diana said...

I think you should go for it.
I actually recently heard about a website that is for married couples that rates certain books and movies. The couple who started it got sick of toys, books, and website being geared toward men and not couples.
I also recently read that watching pornography with your significant other helps baby making. Something about watching it makes men make more and better sperm.

Diana said...

After I get done being a teacher and then a midwife, I'll be a sex therapist.

bigsip said...

I'm with Jamison. They seem a little sophomoric now. But, it would probably sell to teenage boys.

Porno might make better sperm (don't know how accurate that research is), but it's probably one of the worst things facing the Christian home today.

Jamison said...

yep, even if an innocent married couple buy porn, they are feeding an industry that wants nothing more than to get pre-teens hooked on it for life.

it is the legal, non-shunned drug of the day.

After I get done being a tech guy and a midhusband, ill be a sex slave. Wait, I already am, wait, all men are.

bigsip said...

They're also feeding an urge that will undoubtedly turn into something ugly and insatiable.

Not the desire for each other, but the desire to see demeaning and degrading sex acts. Porn is about power. The exertion of one's power over another person.

It's not about love or the beautiful sex loving couples have. It's about control and power.

Diana said...

I agree. Take a chill pill.
I'm.... JUST.... sayin!

I love you, Sip! :)

bigsip said...

I know, Di.

WWasn't riled at you, just the subject.

It's easy for someone to stop by this blog and get the idea we're promoting porn when it's just the opposite.

Love you, too!

Diana said...

I know! I just like to bug ya.


mullinz8 said...

I don’t think that the porn industry is about showing power and submissive, dominating sex. I think they know their audience enough to understand that not everyone likes that sort of stuff.

The reason their gross rivaled the box office of Hollywood is because there is something for everyone. Mind you that is also in movie purchases not single viewings which is somewhat impressive and disturbing.

I’m not talking about what I’ve written or the stories that I’ve told you yahoo’s back in the day, I’m talking about something completely different. I’m talking about stories that would be written from the perspective of a couple interested in setting their sex life on fire and need the spark.

Like that book I described it would have useful information in it as well.

No my cheese ball stories are not the style that I’m thinking of, honestly it would be something more along the lines of a Penthouse Forum Letter geared for couples.

Also I’m not sure how much porn helps encourage sperm but it’s simple to say that the sexual excitement provided from the entertainment might make the release a bit more powerful. I think that guys can understand and separate the typical “finishing” from the ones that are derived from being pent up and really turned on.

bigsip said...

Well, it's first and foremost about making money, hwich brings power in and of itself.

People want to feel powerful and in control of situations and people, though. It's that feeling that most folks get off on.

It's just another situation for the deviant mind to take hold of and use to make one feel more in control.

But, I know what you're talking about with your idea, Mullins.

Perhaps some help for folks who don't know how to relax and have a good time in the sack would be good!

Jamison said...

ive been researching the porn industry for the past few months for a presentation I am making at church.

there is no longer any doubt in my mind that at least the ONLINE porn industry specifically targets children between teh ages of 7 and 17.

The online CHILD porn industry alone rakes in over $3 million a year.

Brewster said...

Ok, you've got to clarify for me. Are you talking about a book filled with these little erotic stories, or a fact filled marital aid type book.

I think you could make money with an erotic story book, but you'll have a big problem in the church. A fictional story, no matter how tame, dealing with sex is going to be labled porn. What is the difference in the story you just wrote and something more hard core in terms of moral?

I think a book like "getting it on" with the homo stuff thrown out and the kinkier bits edited is a great idea. Put it in a biblical perspective, sex is for marriage etc and you could do well.

I'm thinking more of a martial aid, going over anatomy and sexual response. But also detailing romance and variation. Being detailed and clinical and yet keeping it fun would be key.

I don't know how much you'd sell though. I think it would be very beneficial for the church, but CofC books are very niche anyway and CofC sex books...well it would be just you and the song of solomon.

Although non CofC folks might dig it and it could find a wider audience in regular christian book stores.

Brewster said...

Yeah, I've been "researching" the porn industry for years.

I kid I kid. That's pretty sick jamison. The online world has without a doubt made porn more mainstream and us more accepting of all kinds of horrible things.

bigsip said...

Not only would the niche market be tough, but you usually have to hold some pretty serious degrees before anyone will even think of publishing something like that.

Otherwise, you come across looking like a perv or something. Don't ask why a PhD removes perv status...I don't get it either.

Brewster said...

Porn is about making money. Pretty much everything is. There is all kinds of porn. Kiddie, animals, orgies, but there is also couple based stuff too. Stuff that isn't about squirting in a girls face, or throwing her onto the bed and forcing yourself.

However, Mullins I think you have zero chances of doing anything outside the clinical oriented stuff within a CofC setting. Telling stories no matter how tame or well told is going to get you tossed out of the church.

mullinz8 said...

My porn research has left me very calloused. HA. I love a sick pun!

Anything like this would be for couples under the Christian umbrella. I think that the c.o.C should offer all that we can to the world so more of them can see what we have.

Holding your cards to your chest is worthless and silly in a battle for others salvation. If I were to move on something like this it would be published under a pen name, something like Lukas Lovegood.

There would have to be some PhD’s associated with the project because all I would be good at would be thinking up the smutty stories.

“I'm thinking more of a martial aid, going over anatomy and sexual response. But also detailing romance and variation. …and yet keeping it fun...”

This is exactly what I’m thinking of. Why are people so hung up on sex? I mean the whole thing would be marketed to faithful couples and would come with a warning that it does contain mature content. Married couples should be able to discuss sex without being embarrassed or ashamed. This book could be the doorway to an open discussion or it could be the doorway to a more adventurous discussion. I know what Jules likes and she knows what I like, we figured it out and talked about it because we wanted to please each other.

I mean married people should be allowed more than the missionary position. They should be allowed to experience love making and lusting over their spouse. Any good marriage is work and having sexual hang ups shouldn’t bring everything else down.

I agree with Brew, the bottom line of any porn is to make money. People get off on some sick things and knowing that, some other sick f#ck is willing to supply it, for a price of course…

Brewster said...

I don't know how I ever got off on sex.

bigsip said...


Good ole Donnie...

He's doing a family seminar at Dalraida at the end of the month.

Should be good.

mullinz8 said...

Ten years later that obliviously spoken remark still brings a smile to my face.

What class was that? I remember it being full of folks but I have no idea what it was.

Along with my hearing I guess my memory is slipping too.

Where’s my walker? Nurse!!!

bigsip said...

I wasn't in there, but I'm sure it was "Marriage and the Family". Donnie almost always teaches that one.

Diana said...

I will tell you right now that I would love to have a book like Mullins is discussing. A sex-life-help book, if you will, for Christian married couples.

I mean it's hard dating for a few years and not being allowed to have sex to suddenly make the transistion to do it. It's a beautiful thing to learn together, but what if things don't go as planned? Who do you go to?

bigsip said...

Where should I go but to the...

OK, I'll stop there.

The thing you always have to remember when writing a self-help type book like this is the fact that most of the problems folks experience in the bedroom are NOT physical.

In fact, the main problem is with folks who have emotional, mental, and even spiritual problems with sex.

The only helpful way to get to the root of sexual issues it to go for the real issues.

If you and your mate can't talk about the most important, deep things, you're not going to be ale to connect in the bedroom on a level that will bring the most amazing sexual pleasure.

You're all gonna think this is weird, but reading the entire Bible with Rachel was probably one of the best things in the world for our sex life.

Afer we both read, discussed, and really understood each other on a personal, spiritual level, we could let go, relax, and experience sex more fully and beautifully.

Sex went from being good to being outrageously amazing!

So, there's your idea..."The Christian Tantra"

Go for it Mullins!

Brewster said...

There are some good secular books out there Diana on sex. The aforementioned "Getting it On" is a actually quite informative.

My biggest suggesion is to communicate. Talk about sex with Charlie. Be completely open and honest about what you like and don't like. What turns you on, what would you like to try, and what do you not like.

Men are thickheaded, we don't understand subtlety. So if you want him to do something tell him straightforward or he won't do it.

We also have very sensitive egos. Tell him he's the biggest stud alive. Use terms like big, giant, supersized and enormous. Stroke that ego and he'll perform better.

That's the tricky part too in telling him what you want. Do it kindly. During the act is fine for things you love, but don't talk about what you don't like until after.

Be open to new stuff. You don't have to get out the handcuffs (but it's cool if you wanna) but try something different. New positions, different rooms, try some lotions or foods. If you've always dreamed of wrapping yourself in feathers and barking like a dog, then do it. Well talk to charlie about it first and then do it.

If he wants you to dress up like a cheerleader and shake your pom poms in his face, go for it.

But keep those lines of communication open. If he asks you to do something you're not comfortable with, talk about it.

MMMMMMMM I think I'll go get some whipped cream, put on a cheerleader outfit, grab the whip set and call the wife.

bigsip said...

Brewster...TMI, buddy...

Brew's right, though. You have to talk about sex. You have to keep it moving in a good and exciting direction.

The closer you grow in communication about everything from emotions to physicality to spirituality, the better it'll be.

mullinz8 said...

I’ve heard of a lot of bizarre sexual scenarios but never in my life have I heard of the Bible being something to make sex better. The communication discussing the text and realizing that you’re on the same page spiritually I can understand bringing you two closer together so that’s where I’m going to stop that train of thought.

Communication is the key in anything you do and it’s very important in the sexual experience. Practice is also very useful. :)

The psychological aspect of the book would be very large. My old mantra that I ripped off from Funkadelic is “Free your mind and your ass will follow.” If you can stop worrying about what’s going on and feel the moment things are just better.

There are plenty of male and female mental issues that effect and hinder good sex. Not only would the book cover the physical but it would armchair psychologist, Dr. Phil the cognitive side as well.

ON Brews suggestion on using food there are plenty that are wonderful to… Well I’ll just say that crackers are not that great for any sexual endeavor.

bigsip said...

I'm just saying sex isn't purely physical and mental. It's spiritual, too. If you don't incorporate all the levels of yourself into it, you're missing out.

Sex is a part of life and like life, incorporates all the parts of the human. Getting in touch with all of these parts will heighten the awareness and experience of both people and enhance the feelings, sensations, and climax.

There are already plenty of Dr. Phil-esque sex books out there. Not many on the whole person as a sexual being, though.

bigsip said...


mullinz8 said...

Sipper you should have tried mushrooms or LSD.

You’re all inclusive physical, mental and spiritual views would have meshed well with the alchemic melding of thoughts and visions into reality.

Talk about a whole being experience…

Jamison said...

After a good pipe smoke, this Sip man is as alert as always...yet me and chuck are just sitting staring off into space, eyes half open, smiling like we just did a 4 hour sex marathon.

I think if sip did drugs he would actually become smarter and more alert... he has one of those minds...

But dont go out and buy any drugs sip. Some coffee or a monthly pipe smoke is all you need. Dont want you getting too much smarter.

bigsip said...


You've never seen me drunk. I've only been drunk once and it was like I regressed back to being a trogladite or something.

I do love me a good smoke, though.