Long time coming

Coke's (should be anyway) new ad campaign, and spokesman.

(I added another one in my bordum today.)

O Thou Lying Girgashite!

While doing a little surfing, I stumbled upon a Biblical Curse Generator. It says that it takes it is loaded with "blistering put-downs as delivered by Elijah, Jeremiah and other monumentally angry saints," but I'm pretty sure most of them are made up.

Whether it is actual scripture or not, it is pretty stinking funny.

Here's a few of my favorites:

"Harken, O ye discourager of the brethren, for you will go on a diet of crunchy,
unsweetened locusts!"

"May you be as welcome as a fart in the queen's bedchamber, thou irritating inhabitant of Gath!"

"Behold, thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou babbling Assyrian!"

"Thou shalt become as popular as a boil on the king's backside, O thou whose name is but dung!"

$10 and my faith in humanity

So my general faith in the world at large isn’t what it should be and I’ll easily admit that. This morning while I was showing Isaac how to pump gas, the kid likes to be helpful what can I say, some guy asks me for a couple of bucks so he can get these two girls to work and then back home.

I look around at the other cars and see that they have this less than approving look on their face.

I think,” this is a test” amid everything else in the world I’m being tested by this schlep that needs gas. I get $10 and hand it to him he give me a couple of “God bless you” lies and the usual stuff and then starts to get in his car. I yell at the guy and tell him “Now, get the gas now!” “Oh, yeah”. The woman in the drivers seat, the whole time is mouthing “sorry, sorry” and while the guy goes in, I imagine he’s prepaying for the gas, the bitch in the back seat gets out and gives me this sob story. I tell her that I’ll get paid again in a couple of days and as long as he’s not buying smokes and junk food I don’t mind helping someone out.

When Isaac and I finish we walk in and considering this is one of my two places I get fuel I ask Carl how much gas the guy on one got. “The first time he spent two bucks, just then he spent $1.50”.

What a shit heap. By the end of the day I hope I won’t be pissed about this but there is a good chance I’ll not be able to reconnect to the forgiveness post of yesterday. This is insignificant and won’t matter in the great scheme of things but it’s a shitty way to start the day.

The art of forgiveness.

The Bible is a wonderful book; it’s a collection of writings that truly span the existence of man on this earth.

For as much guidance it gives me it is a conundrum for application. What I’ve found is that the Bible tends to share the spotlight in the phrase “easier said than done”. Then again…

Some recent events which bare no further explanation (so don’t ask) have tested this hypothesis. What I’ve found is that the less significant the situation the harder it has been for me to follow the seventy times seven example of forgiveness.

I’ve always questioned the application over the ability of being able to forgive someone no matter the situation because there should be no way I can hold some something over anyone else’s head when my example for forgiveness life has forgiven me for everything I’ve done.

It’s most practical application to me comes in the parable of the king who forgave his slaves debts. One slave then forgave those who owed him and the other slave refused to forgive his friends debt, reaping punishment upon himself.

This should be my example for living. I’ve encountered dozens of situations in my life since I sort of reexamined things about two years ago and have had no desire or means to apply this teaching because I’ve always been right in my assessment of the situation, no matter what.

What would stick out to me was the idea that I was wronged and there should be some sort of residual retribution made to me before I forgive anyone. My point must be made and accepted, then and only then will I bestow upon you the gift of my forgiveness. This is not how it should work.

What I’ve figured out is that when the pressure is on and you’re really digging deep for some sort of divine guidance application is a matter of asking. Humility and pride must be adjusted into submission and your heart must be placed in a sort of cruise control beyond active thought. After that everything else is easy.

I think the key to things like this is to actually and completely believe that’s what God wants to help you do. When you sincerely ask you shall completely receive.

frilled functioning fossil shark

I thought is would be nice to throw out this little reminder about how much of the world we know about. Recently some Japanese fishermen saw a strange fish and called most marine biologists to check it out. It ends up to be a very rare frilled shark that’s thought to be extinct or very near to it living at crushing depths.

I know that I can sound a bit like a whack job when I begin talking about animals and the Bible but when there are fossils found with this creature and then you find this creature something automatically doesn’t add up with the evolutionary explanation of things.

I thank God for my faith and his ability to show up people who think they are far smarter than I because of some old bones.

First Day

Well, I'll start by saying that my new work environment will not allow me to blog from work. It's all for the best, of course, but I'll miss having the amount of interaction I used to have.

On the other hand, I LOVE where I work thus far. I went in this morning and did some paperwork in the very building I used to work in. Then it was off to Gunter Air Force Base to see my boss and meet everyone.

When we finally got to the building, it looked like any other government building I've ever seen. But, inside it was a different story.

My boss, Bernie, took me to the "watch floor" first. It looked like something right out of NASA or some sci-fi flick that portrays a military watch floor. Everyone sat on tiers at lined-up workstations and looked on as information scrolled across huge, flatscreen TVs mounted to the walls. There were several different clocks to tell them what time it was in Japan, Germany, etc. It reminded me very much of where I worked up in Georgia, just way cooler.

After I met some folks and filled out paperwork, Bernie took me to my workspace. I was equally amazed, but in a different sort of way. The room struck me as serene. The carpet was a dark, calming green color, flecked with complimentary tones, the cubicle walls were sage with hints of black and there was a huge accent wall at the end that was the same, calming green color. Not only was the space colored perfectly, the lights, instead of beaming down garrishly on my head, were pointed toward the ceiling, causing a beautiful, dappled feel. On top of all that, I have a huge workspace with a large, L-shaped desk, 3, yes 3 separate computers, and an ergonomic chair my boss said cost over $350 (of course, everyone there has one!).

Everyone has been very nice and helpful and interested in my ideas for how to change their training environment. I'm looking forward to really digging in and getting started! I think I'm going to really enjoy this job.

Ice Storm In Oklahoma

Taken by my father in Choteau, Oklahoma, a few miles from where he lives. They have been covered in a sheet of ice for the last several days. He says the neighbor's kids have been ice skating on their yards. Luckily, they have kept their power on, while many in the area have been without.

just the facts ma'am, never mind...

Knoxville is typically not a city where grisly murders take place. Recently the city was rocked by the double murder of a young white couple. Last week one of the suspects was apprehended in KY, later in the week the other was captured by KPD SWAT in a house locally. WBIR was first on the scene to tape the last guy being apprehended. It’s very exciting in the news room when something like this happens, we’ve got people in the mix and reporters trying break the story and everyone gets in a tizzy trying to make sure they get their stories out first.

Anyway one of the reporters had gotten the scoop on how the couple was found. What wasn’t common knowledge until recently was that the guy was badly burned, possibly alive and then shot several times. There is also the idea that since the girl lived for several days after she a) witnessed his murder and b) he witnessed her repeated rape. When the girl was found, she was found bent over, face down in a large trash can. KPD took her to the coroner’s office as she was found. There were signs, from the scene alone that she was subjected to horrible acts of violence prior to her demise. The coroners report confirmed the crime scene.

The subject of this is two fold. First, when something happens all the details are cycled through the newsroom. Part of me loves knowing more that others and then I feel wretched for confirming the despicable facts of some people’s existence. Secondly, I’m glad this place doesn’t release every last detail to the masses.
I don’t know what these guys were on to commit such horrible acts but there are those times when I think it’s just pure evil.

Shut Up Sea Cow

Most of you will remember this bit from Dr. Katz. I've never actually seen the guy in person, so it's funny to see him out of squigglevision. Still. Hilarious.

Dream: Baseball With The Mob

I was playing baseall with against the mob. Actually, I was the son of a mob guy, and was part of the business, I just wasn’t made yet. And that’s the way it was, the sons and underlings of the made guys against the real deal.

It was a tough game too. We were neck and neck the whole time.

For some reason, the made guys had a little kid as their catcher. He was like 13 years old, and not very good. So, I was enlisted to stand behind him and make sure the game ran smoothly – catch anything he missed, keep the ball rolling quickly so the game would keep going, but since I was on the opposite team, it was understood I would not be making any fast throw to get somebody out.

Bottom of the ninth, we were up by one. The made guys are up, this time I’m really catcher. There’s the pitch and somebody tries to steal third. I grab the ball and throw it fast to third and….whoof…it just keeps going. There isn’t a third baseman. I look around and see all of my players not doing anything.

It is then I realize we are making the made guys win. They are in the mob you know, and if they lose, they might get made. Mob guys mad is bad. Very bad.

Game over and we’re all headed out t a meeting. My real dad walks by, and he is one of the top mob gus. He’s helping all these really old mob guys into their cars and asking the “boss” if he wants to go with him.

At this point I think I begin to wake up, so the dream sort of swirls and moves quickly. I remember there was a moment where I was explaining to dad that I didn’t want to be in the mob. And another one talking with my fellow sons of the mob about not being willing to kill.

Don't Know Much About History

As part of my New Years Resolutions, I have decided to start studying history. I'd like to say I've always loved history but that's far from the truth. I mean I paid attention to history in high school and found some of it to be interesting, but never enough to make me read about it on my own.

In college, well I know Jamison will remember how boring the Hick's classes were. The only thing I remember from those classes are that history can actually be interpreted many different ways, and that Jamison remembers all the lyrics to Neil Young's "Unknown Legend."

Perhaps it is the advent of the History channel, or maybe it is my need to watch Band Of Brothers over and over again, but I've recently become much more fascinated by not only our own history, but the worlds. Actually in a sense, it all boils down to wanting to have a wider education. Jamison's recent Boston Tea Party post illustrates my point beautifully. I had no idea it was the anniversary of the Party and I honestly barely remembered what the hub-ub was. I'd like to fix that.

Initially I thought I'd take one subject at a time and read about it for a month before moving on. I had hoped to start early with the Greeks before moving onto the Romans and then, perhaps to the Chinese, but a quick visit to the old bookstore today made me give up such hope. Oh, they had lots of books about the Greeks, but with just a thumb-through I couldn't tell whether they were worth the sticker price.

I'm a beginner, you see, and I don't want a massive, boring tome that will kill this knowledge gaining before it even starts. I did pick up the general history book, which my title comes from, and it is proving to be a fun read, but it's very basic covering subjects in but a few paragraphs and I'd like to dig a little deeper.

Ah, and now we reach the point. I would like some suggestions from ye, my well read friends on some good history books to read. Jamison, I'm looking directly at you.

It's alive. It's alive... It's Alive!!!

Well it seems all I needed was a little time away and to reread Brews amazingly simple instructions, again… Luckily I was able to let Isaac walk me through the steps and here I am.

It’s been a while and I hope everyone is doing great. The blog has been a bit slow so perhaps we should do some catching up.

I guess I’ll start. WBIR is a lot of fun and I’m really enjoying the new gig. I was talking to an old pal at Scripps and telling him that I’ve gotten to experience the weather (one of my simple joys) shoot, edit, create content, and provide for the show. I’m trying to line up shoots at the Grove Park Inn, a monster truck show, an awesome local restaurant, a family therapist and what ever else I think could be interesting.

The wife is wonderful and the kids are too. Caleb has given us a little scare recently and begun stuttering. This happens all the time but when two and two were connected that this began after a small dresser fell and hit him on the head while staying the night at his aunts I went into quiet panic mode. He’s fine and the stuttering will pass on its own in time.

We have cable back in our home and I can tell you I really don’t care. I spent over an hour last night flipping channels simple because I haven’t in such a long time. I was bored stiff in the process. In the past I’d watch a DVD or something or do something called reading. I should have opened a book, eventually I went up stairs and did some editing and felt productive again.
There’s the Readers Digest version of my world over the past little while. What are you guy sup to? Sip, how’s the new gig? Brew, anything? Jamison, have you found any more nasty arithmetic? I know that I just came off the MIA list but are Chuck and Stubbs still out there?

Bathroom Math

I was taking a leak at work in the boys bathroom, and instead of seeing the typical bathroom graffiti, I found a puzzling mathmatical conundrum. Maybe KellieJ can shed light on it, being that she was a math major.

As best I can tell, it is "D = (The Square Root of) (x2 - X1) to the power of 2, + y2 - y1) to the power of 2."

Perhaps it was a formula for a test...?