Sunday, February 05, 2006


I remember on one post long ago, someone wrote about how they connect with their dads. Somebody said sports, someone said music. I thought about that tonight after a phone conversation with my dad.

He and I connect with maps.

I remember when I was a little girl, I would crawl in his lap and he'd show me the way to Disney World on the Atlas. Or he'd show me how to get to Papa's house, or even just back home. I remember the night of 9/11, he and I spreading the atlas on the bed, and mapping out where it happened and in relation to what. Even though he and I are very close and have often been all we've got, sometimes there are just no words. Sometimes you have to say it with a map.

I got a call tonight from my biological mom saying that my Grandmother is very sick and will probably die within a few weeks. We talked a while about when I can come see her, what her condition is, and other little tidbits. As soon as I hung up, I called my daddy.

"Hey there!"

"Hey Dad, you're not watching the Superbowl are you?"

"No, I just turned it on to see who was winning."

"Oh, you don't usually I just wanted to make sure."

"Did you see halftime? It was the Rolling Stones."

"No, sure didn't. Were they good?"

"I don't know, I didn't watch."

I told him about Grandma. He said he was sorry, saying he had thought about her recently and wondered how she was. He asked if I was going to see her and I said yes. He told me I maybe shouldn't just because she's out of it and it will just upset me and I should remember her how she was. I said I know, I've thought about that, but I feel the need to go.

"I get off at 6 on Saturday so I should get there about 11."

"Which way do you go?"

"501, 38, 9, 52. But isn't there another way?" (Help me daddy I don't know what to do.)

"Yeah, there sure is, get on 38, but don't get on 9, just keep going." (Don't worry sweetheart, everything will be fine.)
"Like you're going to Rockingham?" (I'm really scared of what she will look like, but I need to go.)

"Exactly, and then go west on I- 74 and then go north on 220. That will turn into I-73" (I wish you wouldn't go)

"Uh huh, uh huh." (I know but I felt bad when I didn't get to say goodbye to Grandpa.)

"And then get on 64 at Asheboro." (And I'm glad because he got really sick in the end; I was just trying to protect you.)

"Oh, ok." (Thank you, Daddy.)

"Well, you know what, just go north on 73 until you get to Greensboro and then get on 40." (I understand, I just don't want you to be hurt.)

"That's looks good. Thank you so much!" (I know, I'll be ok.)

"Call me tomorrow at work." (So I can talk to you without your step-mom listening.)

"Ok. I love you Dad." (I love you bigger than the house.)

"I love you too." (I love you more.)


bigsip said...

Nice post, Di.

Sorry to hear about your Grandmother. I was glad to be able to say goodbye to my grandfathers.

I think you'll be glad you went.

Jamison said...

thats is a great post...

My dad and I connect with maps too.

In fact, he inspects houses now that he is retired, all over the eastern part of tennessee... In fact, he is a contractor for TVA, the company he retired from, doing the same thing, anyway...

He has been using a randal mcnally altlas to find houses. The day before xmas I went out and bought him Microsoft Streets and Trips 2006 and he LOVES IT.

If you like maps, buy that software (assumeing your computer can handle it) it is very fun just to play with and to make routes and stuff...

Brewster said...

This really is a great post. Very well written and moving.

Would you mind if I posted it to blogcritics? I think it deserves an audience bigger than our little group

mullinz8 said...

Go see your grandmother.

Once she passes then you can choose if you want to remember her “in state” or not. It will mean a lot to your mother to see her and even to your grandmother.

In the long run it will make you a stronger person for doing so.

Diana said...

Thanks guys. I think I will go. I think I'd rather have a bad memory than regret not having a bad memory. Besides, there are things more important than uncomfortable feelings.

Sure, Brewster, you can post that if you like. I'm very honored you would want to.

I really appreciate the support, guys.

Diana said...

Brew, if you want to send me editing tips first, feel free. I wrote it really quickly after the phone call, so there are probably a lot of areas of opportunity.

Diana said...

Hey guys.
I just wanted to let you know that I just talked to my mom. My grandmother passed away this morning.
I'm too late.

bigsip said...

I'm sorry, Di.

We'll keep your family in our prayers.

Don't beat yourself up. You were going to go.

Your heart was right.

Rachel said...

I am so sorry Diana. I think I'm going to cry. Love you girl.

Diana said...

Thanks, Sweetie. I don't go to class until 2 tomorrow, so I might call you. Love you.

Brewster said...

I'll keep you and yours in my prayers, Diana. I'm sorry.

About the writing, I think its pretty darn fine as is. I'll probably edit it just a smidge simply to make it right for a larger audience. There is a little in the begining that speaks just to us, and I'll change it to make it understandable to those who don't know you.

Give me until tomorrow to get it up. The blogcritics editors will actually give it a once over too before it posts. Once its up I'll give the url here.

Diana said...

Thanks, Brew. :)

Jamison said...

i recently lost my granny so like the others, i feel for you. We all love you and you are not alone in your sadness.

Jamison said...

I'll see if I can get "W" to call and cheer you up one day...

Brewster said...

It's live, world wide.

Right here

Something like 40000 people a day read blogcritics Diana, so know at least a few thousand have now read your words.

Kinda Cool!

Diana said...

Wow, that's exciting, Brew! I just can't tell you how much that thrills me!!!
Thank you Jamison. You are all very special to me. A call from W always cheers me up. :)