I admit it. I have a great fondness to adventure stories – specifically Indiana Jones-esque adventure stories that involve looking for ancient, secret treasure. This should explain why my wife and I sat this Sunday evening watching The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines.
While my wife watched, she also searched the kitchen for something sweet – anything would do cookies, ice cream, pie. She chastised me for having not picked up any such thing on my visit to the grocery store earlier in the day (silly me, I bought non essentials like milk and chicken.) She then started to crave a Steak and Shake milkshake which is when I started to pay attention.
There is a Steak and Shake a few measly blocks from our abode, and I have to admit they make a mean shake. Suddenly I was craving a little ice cream, vanilla and maybe a hint of caramel.
The problem was we were both bedded in for the evening and tucked into our flannel pajamas. Though in this college town we wouldn’t be looked at twice for stepping out in pajama pants, that’s just not something we do in this family.
So we made a deal. Next commercial we’d change, then the following one we’d make a mad dash for the shakes.
Now the thing is I wear my pajama pants a little free in the undercarriage, if you catch my meaning, and I wasn’t prepared to equip myself with a clean pair for but minutes in the car. Thus I stuffed my khakis over my flannel pants and geared up to go. I got the keys and the coats and we prepared ourselves for the next commercial break.
Like a light we took off and I drove like a madman on crack. Somewhere on Second Street it struck me how absurd it was to be driving in the middle of the night, in the freezing cold, sans underpants with flannel pajamas sticking out of my khakis all in order to obtain a frosty treat.
Never stand in the way of a fat man and his sweetened dairy products.
We arrived safely back at home with our delectable caramel and fudge milkshakes and we only missed a few minutes of the movie.